Although I'm clinically obese, I self-identify as thin. I'm trans-slender...
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Although I'm clinically obese, I self-identify as thin. I'm trans-slender...
Tried to tell my friend from Liverpool a joke about the stormy weather today. Sadly, she said she 'didn't gerrit'
St Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when 40 Liverpool fans showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, St. Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the 10 most virtuous from the group.
A few minutes later, St Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone."
"What? All of the Liverpool fans are gone?" asked God.
"No" replied St Peter "The Pearly Gates!"
Just melt their guns down, plenty of metal there for a new set.
To the person who nicked my camouflage jacket and flips-flops, if you're out there reading this, you can hide but you can't run.
A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral, when a man approaches and leans towards her. "Would you mind if I say a word?" the man asks her. "Of course. Please go ahead" she replies. So he walks to the front, turns, and looking solemn says aloud, "Plethora" , before returning to his seat. "Thank you", said the woman, "that means a lot".....