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Thread: 1st time sex

  1. #1
    Master Stef F's Avatar
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    Talking 1st time sex

    FIRST TIME SEX

    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.


    Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

    The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


    At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack..
    The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

    That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

    "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

    The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
    The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


    10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

    Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'


    The boy turns, and whispers back,

    'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist..'
    Impossible is nothing!
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  2. #2
    Master Harry H Howgill's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    That's brilliant Stef.
    Fitness can't be stored. It must be earned over and over, indefinitely.

  3. #3
    Master Stef F's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry H Howgill View Post
    That's brilliant Stef.
    Thanks!

    I can't claim authorship but it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it
    Impossible is nothing!
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Stanners's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    That made me chuckle, thanks Stef

  5. #5

    Re: 1st time sex

    quality
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    IS THAT THE 12" MIX

  6. #6
    Master Antisocial's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    A similarly inexperienced lad buys his first packet of condoms and ends up in the front room of his potential first conquests house with both of them in a state of undress. Knowing she had done this before and not wanting to show his lack of knowledge and experience, he suggests that she goes upstairs to the bedroom whilst he puts the condom on and then he will follow her up. Time passes and the girl calls "is it on yet" - "nearly he calls. This goes on for nearly an hour. in the end she shouts "what an earth are you doing, breathlessly he shouts up - "the instructions say place the item over the organ - I couldn't find one but I've got it halfway across the piano".

    On a true note , as a spotty youth when I went to my local Boots to buy my first packet of condoms (more from wishful thinking than a real need), after much hanging at the back of the shop, I took the plunge and asked for a packet (they were behind the counter in those days) and the smiling assistant said certainly - "how's your mum Paul".
    Last edited by Antisocial; 25-02-2010 at 08:52 AM.

  7. #7
    Moderator noel's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    Two old women are standing at a bus stop and they both go to light up cigarettes. It starts raining, so one old woman waits, knowing that the rain will dampen her cigarette. The other old woman gets out a condom, cuts the end off, and slips it over her cigarette so it won't get wet. The other old woman is amazed and asks where she can get these from. She is told that they sell them at the chemists.

    So the next day, the old woman walks into the chemists and says "I'd like a large pack of condoms, please". The man behind the counter is a little taken aback but keeps his cool and explains that they come in different sizes and what size would she like. The old lady thinks for a moment and then says "I need them big enough to take a camel."

  8. #8
    Master Swoop's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    "Three please Miss."
    "Don't you Miss me!"
    "OK, make it four then."

  9. #9
    Master Nathaniel Lee's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    What is this sex everyone is talking about ?...
    They called me mad and i called them mad and damn them they outvoted me !!!.

  10. #10
    Moderator noel's Avatar
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    Re: 1st time sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Herakles View Post
    What is this sex everyone is talking about ?...
    If only there were something about it on the internet. I'll just do a quick search. Oh my!

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