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Thread: Work Life Balance?

  1. #221
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    I have read and studied the triangle from each of the 3 corners, hoping to understand each aspect.

    One question has risen, "what happens when there is no direct conversation?"

    It's feels like emotional torture.

    Is there a webpage or books that I can use to get a better understanding of how people work so I can get out of my mess?
    Last edited by Stagger; 08-07-2017 at 10:44 AM.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  2. #222
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stagger View Post
    I have read and studied the triangle from each of the 3 corners, hoping to understand each aspect.

    One question has risen, "what happens when there is no direct conversation?"

    It's feels like emotional torture.

    Is there a webpage or books that I can use to get a better understanding of how people work so I can get out of my mess?
    I don't have any actual conversations going on either, other than with myself. The ones with yourself are the best because all the relevant details are present. Stressful emotions are an alarm bell, one that alerts you to the fact that something is wrong with your thinking, the fact that a conversation you are having with yourself is hurting yourself.

    It feels like emotional torture because your mind is not yet empowered in a way that yeilds answers. Remember that things such as the Karpmann Drama Triangle are programming for your subconscious, not answers to the problem. The answers to the problems come from inside your own mind as a result of programming. I can't stress enough the fact that stress/depression are in us, not out there; they are the result of bad alignment of our thinking.

    If i had to recommend a reading program to someone, based on my own experience, it would be in this order:

    The Field. (Lynne McTaggart) L
    Power Vs Force: The hidden determinants of human behaviour. (David R Hawkins) L
    Loving what is. (Byron Katie) R
    Healing and Recovery. (David R Hawkins) L
    What the bleep do we know? (W.Arntz/B.Chasse/M.Vincente) R

    This is a program of reading for so-called 'Left Brained' people. If the terminology in McTaggart is too much, go on to Hawkins and then back to McTaggart, Hawkins has a glossary.

    Don't skip Byron Katie, keep going with it until you have an epiphany. My epiphany resulted in 6hrs of panic attacks, so strap yourself in. You'll know when you know what she means.

    The L/R at the end is left/right brained writing style.
    Can't climb for toffee...

  3. #223
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    Interesting stuff. Hope you don't mind me adding to it. I moved to Skye 12 years ago from Edinburgh hoping to find the perfect work life balance-working as mental health nurse in NHS. Rather than being less stressful, I spent 10 years climbing the ladder, driving 2000 miles a month, managing staff all over the Highlands and being bogged down with the usual crap. I was too scared to change jobs as I was obsessed with my pension-which kept changing-I had an awful team to work with and hated my job. Living on Skye is great, I was running every day in amazing places but it's a hard place too. Expensive, remote, small close knit communities (good and bad). 2 years ago I ended up off sick with depression for 6 months-on top off my own issues my wife was being medically retired with a neurological condition. We had no idea what to do. It's amazing how things change though. After a lot of thought I applied for a demotion, back to the job I did 10 years earlier- a big drop in pay but when I worked it out it was the cost of the fancy lease car I was driving and dressing better! Back to a clinical job, no management crap, just me and my patients-I work with addictions. While challenging at times I love it. After a couple of months I didn't notice the drop in pay, it's amazing how easy it is to cut back. We started doing BnB with our spare room and it's been a revelation. I now only work 3 days a week, am getting out in the hills whenever I like. I've started a sight running business on my off days and am training to be a Pilates teacher. I plan to retire at 50-3 years away- and we're building a self catering chalet in the garden as our next project. Life is rosy just now but two years ago I couldn't see a way forward. The thing that was hardest was giving up the status of being at the 'top', but after a few months neither I nor anyone else cared. Good luck. Neil

  4. #224
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Top man, thankyou for sharing that. Your positive outcome is commendable and deserved after the hard work and decisions you took.
    Pleased for you both and enlightened as to my own plight.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  5. #225
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neilly View Post
    Interesting stuff. Hope you don't mind me adding to it. I moved to Skye 12 years ago from Edinburgh hoping to find the perfect work life balance-working as mental health nurse in NHS. Rather than being less stressful, I spent 10 years climbing the ladder, driving 2000 miles a month, managing staff all over the Highlands and being bogged down with the usual crap. I was too scared to change jobs as I was obsessed with my pension-which kept changing-I had an awful team to work with and hated my job. Living on Skye is great, I was running every day in amazing places but it's a hard place too. Expensive, remote, small close knit communities (good and bad). 2 years ago I ended up off sick with depression for 6 months-on top off my own issues my wife was being medically retired with a neurological condition. We had no idea what to do. It's amazing how things change though. After a lot of thought I applied for a demotion, back to the job I did 10 years earlier- a big drop in pay but when I worked it out it was the cost of the fancy lease car I was driving and dressing better! Back to a clinical job, no management crap, just me and my patients-I work with addictions. While challenging at times I love it. After a couple of months I didn't notice the drop in pay, it's amazing how easy it is to cut back. We started doing BnB with our spare room and it's been a revelation. I now only work 3 days a week, am getting out in the hills whenever I like. I've started a sight running business on my off days and am training to be a Pilates teacher. I plan to retire at 50-3 years away- and we're building a self catering chalet in the garden as our next project. Life is rosy just now but two years ago I couldn't see a way forward. The thing that was hardest was giving up the status of being at the 'top', but after a few months neither I nor anyone else cared. Good luck. Neil
    Decisions made by the ego are always doomed. The definition of success, as you well know, isn't a sharp suit and a classy motor; this is the illusion of success as advertised by the capitalist society we live in. Success is whatever feeds your soul; raising a family, running every day until your death, or just collecting mushrooms in a wood every morning before breakfast. Endeavours that are presided over by the ego are vulnerable to attack, the ego is vulnerable and can easily get knocked of its pedestal and become shame or guilt. I'm so happy you've discovered your definition of success, there's a lot of power and positive energy in the creative lifestyle you're now embarking on; well done.
    Can't climb for toffee...

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