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Thread: Depression

  1. #381
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stagger View Post
    Good ideas Luke, just need the training.
    Got to be positive for upcoming mediation.
    Viewpoints and opinions are the result of arbitrary points of perception. We live in a world of observable effects, not identifiable causes. Stress comes from attempting to impose some sort of causality on these effects. No divorce is ever going to be easy.
    Can't climb for toffee...

  2. #382
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Aye, I have suffered more than when my mum died.

    15months and zero progress.

    Mediation, court, or what ever, all I look for is closure.

    I would like my life back.

    Sleep disruption and bad thoughts are no way to live.

    I will enter mediation with an open mind and positive to end the hurt.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  3. #383
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Mediation is a joke, mediator just after the 240 an hour.

    Court because no party is willing to concede.

    Old dogs for hard roads.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  4. #384
    Senior Member Mr1470's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stagger View Post
    Mediation is a joke, mediator just after the 240 an hour.

    Court because no party is willing to concede.

    Old dogs for hard roads.
    Weigh it all up Trevor. Solicitors etc take that much as well and for a lot more hours if you go to court. Also take into account the extra stress, the time frame being greatly extended and the fact that the course may not decide in the way you would like them to. Can you ask a close friend, who can step back a little, to consider the best course for you?
    Loving life in the Highlands

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  5. #385
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr1470 View Post
    Weigh it all up Trevor. Solicitors etc take that much as well and for a lot more hours if you go to court. Also take into account the extra stress, the time frame being greatly extended and the fact that the course may not decide in the way you would like them to. Can you ask a close friend, who can step back a little, to consider the best course for you?
    Very good advice and I thank you for it.

    I wish we could get someone help. I'm at rock bottom and struggling.

    Settlement of the finances is all that's needed.

    I did ask for more communication but was told "not to correspond in any way"

    Closure please?
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  6. #386
    Master Wheeze's Avatar
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    Stagger, you really need a trusted friend to help you now. As Mr1470 says, the courts may make it worse. You need to take control for your own sanitys sake. Sometimes that means walking away, who knows? But a trusted friend might.

    take care. Thoughts are with you and everyone affected by this. Try not to share too much here.
    I am Kuno.

  7. #387
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Thanks Wheeze.
    It would be nice to have a friend who could attempt the mantel.
    But alas that is not available.
    Fully understand your point about posting but lacking people to off load too and listen to advice are few and far between.
    I will take it on board as a moderator requested similar.

    Life is so tough and there is no light in the tunnel after 16months.
    44hr working, 10hr travelling and 20hr house work.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

  8. #388
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    I've never before had to make a decision this big with this much at stake, but what i do know is that your depression will be clouding your judgement. It tries to cloud my judgement in a very damaging way most days, but i've developed the mental power to reel it in to a greater degree. Ask yourself who's in control here- your own clear judgement or a maelstrom of negative energy.

    You're doing the best you can under the circumstances. The circumstances aren't favourable, but they never were going to be. What's on the table is the reality of the situation right now; to say it's good or bad is an imposition of causality, the giving of an opinion from an arbitrary viewpoint. To put it another way; you cannot waste time- it's impossible. The bit about the time being spent well or wasted is nothing but a story, a story resulting from a personal opinion entering the fray at some point.

    Your settlement that is on the table is the reality of the situation right now and it's the only thing you can be totally sure of. That and the fact that you have only ever done the best you can through this whole thing. The concept of 'nonduality' is one i keep coming accross in my research all the time, and always associated with high levels of consciousness. There is no good/bad, just 'what is'...there is no win/lose, just 'the outcome'...there is no me and them, just 'us'. It is difficult to mobilise this concept into actions, i fail regularly, but have had moments of clarity with it too.

    I'd echo 1470's advice about getting a mate to take a look at what's on the table too, there's a few on here you could turn to for sure.
    Can't climb for toffee...

  9. #389
    Super Moderator Derby Tup's Avatar
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    ^ Mr B this is genius. Lucid, and absolutely the truth. Thanks

    Trev, I'm with the others find a mate to talk to about it and then get it sorted. You're wasting your life with all the stress and tension. Resolve it asap and then move on
    Poacher turned game-keeper

  10. #390
    Master Stagger's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the support.

    I don't have a close mate, only my 2 sons.

    I'm like a recluse with the depression.

    But I would like closure so I can move on with my life.
    A quote,

    "The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."

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