Andrew Heywood Memorial Windgather Fell Race
During the week leading up to the race I had cause for celebration - not once, not twice, but thrice!
On Tuesday without realising, I purchased a loaf of shit bread from my local Spar. I?d been too preoccupied to examine the ?best before date? as I had other things on my mind. For whilst walking to the shop I was reminded that Colin my neighbours cat was still missing. He?d been absent for so long the laminated posters displaying his mugshot and personal details had become weather-beaten. Squinting in an attempt to see more clearly I was disheartened to find the longevity of his disappearance had exceeded a month. Word on our street was that Colin?s family feared the worst and were having difficulties coming to terms with the situation. By complete coincidence Colin?s owner entered the shop as I was about to exit. He appeared to be collecting together all the ?missing cat? posters. I hesitantly addressed the elephant in the room and asked if there?d been any news regarding Colin?s whereabouts? My delighted neighbour informed me that his beloved pet had been found safe and sound - albeit underweight, but otherwise fine and dandy. Where he?d been remains a mystery but he?s now back home enjoying all the attention, and copious amounts of food. My mood became buoyant and I walked home with a spring in my step. When I realised the aforementioned bread wasn?t particularly appetising, I scrapped my plans to have beans on toast and instead raised a toast to Colin and his remaining 8 lives.
On Wednesday my feelings of jubilation had been replaced by a sense of deja vu. My wife left me the following voicemail: ?Hi love, do you remember me telling you that Angela from work had recently got a rescue dog? Well, you?re not going to believe this, but unfortunately she?s ran off?the dog, not Angela. So can you keep your eyes peeled when you go for a run today around Rivington. The dog is an 18 months old brown boxer, she?s called Luna and is extremely timid. She has a face like a monkey - she?s gorgeous. Don?t try and engage with her as she was rescued from Romania and doesn?t understand English. Please ring me if you see her and in the meantime I?ll text you more details as they emerge. Don?t forget I?ll be home late as I?m going to Zumba after work. It?s quiche for tea; it?ll need 20 minutes on gas mark 6. Bye and good luck!?. Unfortunately after covering over 15 miles, I didn?t see Luna. However, 3 days later she reappeared at the location she?d originally fled. Angela and her fella were awash with overwhelming joy and Luna was likewise. Now they?re reunited Luna is being taught English. I envisage it?ll be a lengthy process as Angela is a Wiganer and can barely speak the language herself.
On Friday I was on chauffeuring duties. My wife and her friends June and Pauline had been out for lunch - apparently the food was delicious, but there could?ve been more chips. Anyhow, whilst driving the ladies home I regaled them with tales of my eventful week. Coincidentally June had a similar story of her own. One of her friends was recently deeply distressed to find her cat dead by the side of the road. Understandably traumatised she collected up her departed pet and went to the vets to have the cat cremated. (At this point in the story June burst out laughing - I originally thought her laughter inappropriate, but there was more). When June?s friend arrived home from the vets, her cat was sat on the back doorstep. Not one to believe in resurrection, she rang the vets and explained there?d been a case of mistaken identity. The cremation was put on the back burner and cancelled. I found June?s story entertaining, it exceeded my expectations. We all agreed even though it?s a bittersweet tale, it?s a cause for celebration.
On the morning of the race the weather forecast predicted heavy rain. It was certainly accurate and started lashing down as we bypassed the no frills, handy for the hills town of New Mills. On arrival in Buxton, I used the phrase ?it?s raining cats and dogs? as I thought it appropriate given to week I?d had. My wife questioned why anyone would want to race in such weather? I tried to explain that come rain, shine or gale force 9 most fell runners are unfazed by inclement weather. And so it proved as Windgather had a record turnout of 175 finishers, who were treated to a fantastic route in mild but soggy conditions...beltin?. Congratulations to race winners Jack Scott and Faye Sharpley. Many thanks to Julian and all helpers.
Following the race we had a walk into Buxton. We were peckish but not necessarily hungry, so we opted for a snack from Greggs. I ordered a vegan sausage roll and stuck in onto the end of my thumb. I turned towards my wife and sang, ?look at me with my sausage roll thumb?. Alison laughed and whilst pulling her face she sang ?look at me with my washing line smile?. We both agreed that ?Don?t Look At Me? by ?The Lovely Eggs? is bonkers but brilliant. Our rendition had a few of the locals puzzled but the pigeons were impressed by the mess I?d made whilst removing the sausage roll - its suction had surprised me. During the drive home I was in the mood for another singsong and asked my wife ?what?s your favourite Hawkwind song??. She instantly replied, ?there?s so many, it?s impossible to choose?. I was in total agreement, but Alison?s sarcastic tone suggested we weren?t singing from the same page. When we arrived home I noticed Colin was sat in my neighbours window. He was enthusiastically licking his bum hole (Colin, not my neighbour) and if he could speak I?m sure he?d say ?look at the sparkle on that!?.
It?s great to have Colin back...he brightens up the street.
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Originally Posted by mr brightside
