Gone totally 'Feral'

[Stolly]

I was chatting with a friend the other day about running and said something about having gone totally fell nowadays. He misheard me and thought I'd said totally feral .

Thinking about it though, like some scraggy arsed cat, I kind of think I have. I can't remember the last time I ran on roads, I no longer run with a club training, 90% of my runs I do on my tod, I'm getting anti-social and completely unreliable when it comes to turning up for organised recces with others, I rarely race and, when I do, I wonder whether I'm doing them more as arse about face training for solo runs rather than the other way round .

I knew I'd eventually turn into a hill billy when I moved up north.

[emmilou]

Nah it's all perfectly normal Stolly - it's called 'miserablegititus'!

[skennaugh]

This made me laugh! I used to regularly do two weekly social rides with my local mountain bike club, now it seems to be all anti-social cycling and running!

[Hanneke]

Oh, so it is a trend then is it? I find myself doing exactly the same... don't know when I last ran on tarmac and tend to go out on my own. I even purposefully choose to not reveal recce trips to the Lakes until I am actually there, so that friends can't suggest to come along... I am turning into an utter loner... I love my 3 to 4 solitary days in the Lakes, on the hills...

Mind you, there are so many people around there, on is never really alone anyway. And they all want to chat too! Was offered a cup of tea on the summit of Bowfell the other day, by someone who had the kettle on. Then a couple arrived with freshly made flapjack! Better than Starbucks

[Big Compass]

I knew I'd eventually turn into a hill billy when I moved up north.

Not until you'e got flat cap lad.

[Hanneke]

I have got a flat cap, but I don't suppose it counts for a woman

[stevefoster]

Not until you'e got flat cap lad.

And a whippet or some pidgeons

[Stagger]

And in conversation you ask
"Ow-at a?"
and reply
"Ar reet, arr tarr"

[Stolly]

Nah it's all perfectly normal Stolly - it's called 'miserablegititus'!

Guilty as charged Em

[stevefoster]

More Yorkshire wisdom (or b@ll@cks)
You Know what a Barmpot & a Wazak is.

Lunch is 'Snap'

'Ow Do Cock' is an official greeting method.

'Ey Up' means hello, how are you, and bloody hell dick 'ed! A Se!

You Can "Ride Bare-Arsed T'Bradf'd" on something.

You have been to Tenerife on Holiday

"Worth"...is pronounced, "Erth"

'THE' never needs to be used in a sentence.

You can name 3 different Moors.

Hull (a.ka. 'ULL) is Humberside, not Yorkshire.

'To' is 'T'

'That' is 'T'old'

The Film 'Kes' is in your Top Ten.

South Starts at Sheffield

You refer to your local footy team as 'We'

You make a Flat Cap look sexy.

You know what a 'Bag a Spice' is.

The Film 'Brassed Off' ISN'T in your Top Ten

"Summet T' Eight" doesn't mean what time it is.

You get fish from a Chip Oil

Council Pop is Free

You wish Parkinson was your Grandad

You refer to people as 'Love'

You have a Scrap Man that collects Scrap

You've Whistled the Last of the Summer Wine Theme Tune.

Scarbourgh is Exotic

"You can always tell a Yorkshire man, but you cant tell 'im much!"

r'Lad & r'Lass are your partners.

Gravy with EVERYTHING!

Lancashire is Shit

You use and understand the term 'be reyt'.

You'd Rather be French Than a Lanc.

If your really rich, you live in the East Riding...

If your life expectancy is 30, you live in Bransholme...

£2 a pint is expensive

First sign of Sun, and you put your shorts on.

A Ginnel is a passage between 2 houses. (a.k.a Snicket)

How to tell if you are in Scarborough (foolproof)
1) Taste your beer.
2) Analyse and register the "type" of beer
3) Compare "type" with embossed logo or name written on the glass.
if X + Y do not match you are lucky enough to be in the centre of culture itself... THE Scarborough!!!

All You Can Eat Carvery...£4.50

Yorkshire War Cry..."Ow Much!"

If you live outside Yorkshire, but you still mention it 5 times a day.

A man from barnsley walks into a jewellers, "can tha mek us a gold statue of mi dog?" he asks, "sure" says the jeweller, "would you like it 18 carrats?", "no ya daft twat, chewin a bone"

Coil 'Oil is where the Coal is kept

You like a good 'Cal'

Laiking 'Art is something you did as a Bern

You hear through your Lug 'ole

Parkin

A Supwier is a quesion. (what's is wrong with her?)

YORKSHIRE PUDDING, A PIE, PEAS & GRAVY. Nuf Sed.


THE BREAD DEBATE:
If I go into any bakers and ask for a teacake, I will be handed a fruitless piece of bread.
However, in other parts of Yorkshire a teacake would contain fruit.
And I don't even know what a breadcake is!


Translations available on request!