Page 59 of 59 FirstFirst ... 949575859
Results 581 to 587 of 587

Thread: Today's Joke

  1. #581
    Moderator Mossdog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Teesdale
    Posts
    2,750
    Although I'm clinically obese, I self-identify as thin. I'm trans-slender...
    Am Yisrael Chai

  2. #582
    Moderator Mossdog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Teesdale
    Posts
    2,750
    Tried to tell my friend from Liverpool a joke about the stormy weather today. Sadly, she said she 'didn't gerrit'
    Am Yisrael Chai

  3. #583
    Master Witton Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Blackburn
    Posts
    8,792
    St Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when 40 Liverpool fans showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, St. Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the 10 most virtuous from the group.


    A few minutes later, St Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone."

    "What? All of the Liverpool fans are gone?" asked God.

    "No" replied St Peter "The Pearly Gates!"
    Richard Taylor
    "William Tell could take an apple off your head. Taylor could take out a processed pea."
    Sid Waddell

  4. #584
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Loving it in the Pilates Studio
    Posts
    7,862
    Just melt their guns down, plenty of metal there for a new set.

  5. #585
    Master Witton Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Blackburn
    Posts
    8,792
    To the person who nicked my camouflage jacket and flips-flops, if you're out there reading this, you can hide but you can't run.
    Richard Taylor
    "William Tell could take an apple off your head. Taylor could take out a processed pea."
    Sid Waddell

  6. #586
    Moderator Mossdog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Teesdale
    Posts
    2,750
    A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral, when a man approaches and leans towards her. "Would you mind if I say a word?" the man asks her. "Of course. Please go ahead" she replies. So he walks to the front, turns, and looking solemn says aloud, "Plethora" , before returning to his seat. "Thank you", said the woman, "that means a lot".....
    Am Yisrael Chai

  7. #587
    Quote Originally Posted by Mossdog View Post
    A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral, when a man approaches and leans towards her. "Would you mind if I say a word?" the man asks her. "Of course. Please go ahead" she replies. So he walks to the front, turns, and looking solemn says aloud, "Plethora" , before returning to his seat. "Thank you", said the woman, "that means a lot".....
    Well it made me laugh.
    "...as dry as the Atacama desert".

Similar Threads

  1. Joke
    By fishbulb in forum General chat!
    Replies: 70
    Last Post: 20-10-2017, 09:00 PM
  2. Today's Tommy Cooper joke
    By TheHeathens in forum General chat!
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 22-10-2010, 08:48 PM
  3. This is no joke!
    By Alf in forum General chat!
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 20-09-2010, 08:01 PM
  4. Today's Sexist Joke
    By Stolly in forum General chat!
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 18-01-2010, 05:09 PM
  5. Is this a joke?
    By NotIntaFells in forum General chat!
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 22-07-2007, 12:08 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •