Today's Joke

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brett

I went into a shop last weekend said "I'd like to buy a new battery so I can tell the time". Tha assistant said "Is it for a clock?". I said" I don't bloody know, that's why I asked for a battery!"

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You should post more often!:D

Nice one Brett :D

I told Mrs WP I wanted to be cremated.

She booked me in for next Monday :(

I went to the zoo yesterday, and there was a baguette in a cage.

The sign said it was bread in captivity.

What's big, grey and of absolutely no consequence what so ever?


An irrelephant

I just spent all morning building a time machine...
Well that's 4 hours of my life I'll definitely get back.

I went to the bottom of our street to use the callbox only to discover that they'd replaced it with a defibrillator.
I had a right shock!

Wildebeests in Africa are being herded with electric prods - that's shocking gnus.

Which English town can trace its origins to before the invention of autocorrect?
Worksop.

There's two bridges going over the Severn Estuary. The big one's called the Prince of Wales Bridge. The other one's spare.

I told my friend I liked Beyonce.

He said whatever floats your boat.

I said, no, that’s buoyancy.