thats gorgeous.....just popping in now to get me in the mood for a long ish run soon and this has just done the trick! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hes
Printable View
thats gorgeous.....just popping in now to get me in the mood for a long ish run soon and this has just done the trick! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hes
Hi there Neil good to see you back....:)Quote:
Originally Posted by neil wootton
Hi there. Just bobbing in and out this afternoon. I'll work on that this afternoon. Enjoy your ride. I'm going to try and get out for a run whilst the weather is settled. It is lovely out there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hes
Guys I wrote a poem last night it's on page 526 and i am thinking about putting it in the book as i like it. I would like your honest opinions please don't be afraid to say it's no good if you think so as I find it difficult to be objective as i love writing them so much.
Aye up TriQuote:
Originally Posted by tri-mind
I am not qualified to be critical and, but if you want an honest opinion it doesn't move me considering you speak abou a subject matter you feel so strongly about . maybe you should consider writning this in free verse and not strict rhyme and metre, I reckon you would get more feeling into it. heres a link to a website i,ve looked at it's got loads of contemporary work from all the UK poetry mags.
http://www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/
All your poems are good mate, honestly;)Quote:
Originally Posted by tri-mind
Heres a poem I wrote after a run on the canal
Things, some not unexpected
lie across the shards of icy trails
Like badly fractured glass left
Behind the barges passing by.
Ripped up roots of trees, twigs and
Branches, traffic cones, empty
Beer cans; discarded, flung from
low pack horse bridges, beneath that semi
fractured pain there possibly
could be fridges.
But all alone, upright on one
continuos side, rolled, but
not from that far had it come
from trailer, bike or car
Its potential for movement
ceased, cemented in a
solitary track. Restricted like
an invisble finger held it back
Slowly through the days
it will slip without pressure or force.
The final minutes of a ships captain,
gliding into the icy steel, saluting his own pride.
And there it will hide beneath
the brwon murk until some near
or distant summer it will be lured
from its bed of silt and bicycle frames.
By a line and a hook and beyond the
refracted world an angler
will curse his luck to a stranger
passing by and then sling it in
brambles or ditch.
And so it turns and starts again.
Thanks neil and merry. I'll have a go at free stuff have done some before see what comes out.Neil you are really good. I might have asked this before is poetry something you have done regularly as a job or for pleasure as when you contribute original stuff it's great.
Frommelles.
Boys thrown into war,
Trenches waterlogged disease and lice,
The enemy firing day and night,
Scared but proud to serve the king,
Advancing through hell on earth,
One by one killed by hot german lead,
Collected up together dumped in mass grave,
Dignity lost names lost families grieve,
Decades come and go they are discovered,
Fathers,sons and brothers now can be named,
Families peace of mind restored,
Pay respect to these heroes who now can be named,
The honour of a proper burial is the least they deserve,
Be proud and remember they gave their lives for you.
By Matt Harmston.
Hi TMQuote:
Originally Posted by tri-mind
I'm going to chicken out from offering any great opinions as I don't really want to get into critically commenting on other people's work. I'd rather offer encouragement for people to express themselves rather than try and edit someone else's work. It can soon end up quite negative and comments can easily be taken the wrong way. All I would say is that I don't think that it is one of your best; we are all on top form when we are truly passionate about our subject.
Harry