job depression

I work as a scientist at a an academic research institute.


I have the most interesting job, in many way I love it.
Colleagues are great. Pay is great too (my colleagues keep saying we are underpaid but my wife and I feel I am paid very much).


Problem is, the workload is way too much. I hate it.
Easy week is 50hr.
Average week is 60hr.
Experiment week is 100hr. I have done strings of 20hr/day few days in a row, and I witnessed colleagues doing shifts of 27consecutive hours. Directors know this. If we did not do this our "business" would not survive.
I am not exaggerating. Of course there is no way to track working time.

1) Difficult to change job because I am highly specialized in an academic field that is both extremely small and very rapidly shrinking, there is no more than a dozen placein the world where I could be a decent much, and workload there is same as here so no thanks. I already changed country (yes country, not town) 5 times and I feel it's enough.
2) I could make a career change, but at 41 it's less easy. Plus, I live in Germany and would like to stay here (my child is in the local school) but although I do speak German my German is not good enough to work in German, and won't be for a few more years (English is the only language at work). And we use Zero German at home because we parents do not speak it properly yet. Language-wise Germany is very conservative so getting a "normal" Job in Germany without speaking German is hard.
3) I know that for the same job in other countries (been there, done that) workload would be the same.
4) My colleagues appear not to suffer too much. Perhaps they just pretend, or they have stamina or adrenaline or they are full of drugs or they will pass away early.
5) I 18yr in this career I met NOBODY which has a time consuming hobby, like say amateour sport (not elite of course) or allottment or else. Just no time for it.
6) I know of cases of people that work themselves to death. Literally. Other get a stroke and are forced to stop work early. Dunno how this compares to other field


We are finishing the last experiment. This means another week of 100hr work nearing ist end. Fine, I get the adrenaline and the buzz and I like it. Just it's too bloody hard, and my family and my health are suffering.
I asked my boss for an extra bonus of 7days off. I knew there was a company rule but did not bother to check it. He replied the rule is that for every 1day of experiment I get an extra half day off. WTF: In one day I work 16hr, whereas normal people do 8, and I get 4hr off.
Hard to argue, since I have a temporary contract (like 90% people in this career) and they keep telling me in 2yr time they will *perhaps* turn it permanent.


I am depressed and frustrated.
Not sure what to ask here. Just some simpathy would be appreciated.

I always say your health is the priority mate. I know with having things like a mortgage, family etc it is easier said than done but if something is having such a negative effect on your health then it would be worth thinking about change (although sounds like you are potentially considering this already?).

I would love to be able to offer a solution or some tips but at the age of 25 I don't have much life experience to feel like I could give you any decent help. I've worked 60 odd hour weeks in a mind numbing repetitive job but that is just draining and nowhere near what you are working at.

I hope you find a solution mate, as it sounds like it is having negative impact and even if it is good pay, most people would say health over money

Plan a way out, even if it is one, two, or more years ahead. To do this you need to learn German, or move country - yet again. Learning German seems the most positive thing to do - so speak it at home, at work when possible, have it on the radio/TV and get German newspapers and magazines. I used to work long hours and know what it can do to the psyche. Exercise helps - run/cycle to work, make sure family time is based around activity, not screen time. Don't drink/smoke - get sleep when you can, even if in 20 minute aliquots. Lots of positives in your life - do your best to add to them. Keep up your healthy diet. Best wishes.

My Job is everything but not boring. Very pleasant and exciting. Great people around (both professionally, and as individuals). Just too bloody hard.

Best thing could happen that they eventually turn my contract into permanent, so I will be in a better position to ask for a balance.
Yes, I am considering a change already.

Thanks for support, I really appreciate it.

Very good reply from Mike there I thought...even if you feel depressed, when it's arguably more difficult to look at the positives, it's something you have to try. Imagine in the future if there's potential for this permanent move, there is no way they can deny your hard work, graft and input with 60+ hour weeks on a regular basis

I sympathise. Ridiculous expectations, be it input or output, are sadly too common. Get out as soon as you can is my advice. People working themselves to death is not good. You've said that wherever you work in this field (in the world) has the same problem. Don't forget that

I work as an LSA in a college special needs department. The pay is poor, but the job satisfaction far outweighs the meagre financial rewards. Corny as it sounds, when I'm up on the moors running I always remind myself what's important in life. Family, health & happiness. Plus, I get 2 months off in the summer!!!

I definitely agree with Derby Tup's advice. And don't worry about taking your child to somewhere new if you decide to move: most children easily make new friends after being uprooted. The really important thing for your child is to have a Daddy who is around and isn't having a breakdown.

As an academic myself, I know that what you are experiencing is far too common, and it makes me really angry that people are treated like this. It's a failure of our economic model: because of your high-level, scarce skills, it is reckoned that you need to be paid a high salary; but then for your employer to meet its financial targets, they have to make you work ridiculous hours, even though it seems from what you wrote that you would probably be happy with two-thirds the salary and working two-thirds the hours (and they could then provide employment for 50% more people). When are they going to realise that even the best scientific researchers are still human beings?

So it looks like you need to do some serious thinking about possible alternative careers. I know this is going to be really difficult (for myself, after 27 years lecturing Mathematics at a university, I would find it hard to imagine anything else that I could do, or any other employer that would want me!); but you have my best wishes, and I hope you do manage to find something less stressful but still interesting.

I have been here since 830am. Right now 10pm my german colleague turns up, usual friendly greetings, I start to discuss with him and explain the situation and what to do during the night etc. He looks serious.

Then he asks me to move behind a corner.I am paranoic and I fear he will criticize me perhaps I am not being professional or whatelse...

His dad passed away a year ago because of brain tumor. Just now his wife got the same diagnosis. He cries and leaves.

I will work here on the experiment until 700am. And I feel privileged.

I have nothing in comparison to the thread starter, but do feel kind of 'trapped' into my profession...

having worked as a mechanical project engineer\estimator since I was 18 (now 33)... fortunately it is well paid, and the company I am now at is fairly relaxed, but would be nice to do something I really enjoy, rather than just something I am good at... if I was to move into something else I would have to 'start again' and take a massive pay cut....

really I am thankful that I'm well paid and have time to train in the evenings, and then do whatever I want at weekends... but I have left more than one job in the past due to circumstances/conditions which were doing me more harm than good mentally...

Next week will be the 30th anniversary of starting my first job, aged 17, and have never had a day's unemployment, all of it spent in IT. As things stand right now, the following Friday I'm sacking it off, giving 12 weeks notice and figuring out what to do next. No dependents, no debts, I just don't need the crap that goes with the job anymore. Over the past few months we've gone from 6 people doing my role to just me and a contractor (who is ring fenced to a specific project) - pretty much all contractors have been sacked off so I'm just sweeping up all the crap based on who shouts loudest. I'm happy to work hard and put the extra hours in, but I'm starting to dread the next email / messenger pop-up because all too often it's a last gasp desperate request for me to drop all the other last gasp desperate requests to pick up the latest crisis that's hit the fan through mis-management and bad planning.
It comes to something when the 3 best things about going to work are, 1) Somewhere nice to go for a run, 2) showers on site, 3) a nice real ale pub.

IT is complete bullshit these days, run by bean counters who know the price of everything and the value of nothing, and marketing drones who think everything is new and shiny, when in reality everything is just the same shit we've always had given a new name. I pity anyone who thinks IT a good career anymore.

Time to become a full-time athlete!

Gambatte, I empathise with you and salute your self awareness and honesty. There is another option not yet mentioned.
You have said you a super-specialised skill set in a rarified research environment. You also love what you do, its just the contractual obligations that are killing you.Your skills and talents are therefore;
1. Highly valued.
2. Exceptionally rare.
3. Probably mission critical.
4. Unlikely to be easily replaced.

You need to take stock and realise that you have a strong hand of cards. This should allow you to take a brave step. Resign from your employed position and contract yourself back on your terms.
I have a cousin who has done this for years within the oil industry. He is one of the few people in the world that knows how to drill sideways. He has spent time both as an employee and a contractor to the same company so I have observed that this quite possible.

So my advice to you? Take control of your life and become self employed. It may seem scary but, if you are good, it could work. The worst outcome that they don't hire you is not that bad if you are already thinking of leaving.