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Thread: Real £85m bid for Utd player

  1. #1
    Master TheHeathens's Avatar
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    Real £85m bid for Utd player

    Real Madrid have today risked the wrath of Manchester United manager
    Sir Alex Ferguson by planning an audacious world record bid for
    prolific Manchester United striker “Own Goal”.

    With 10 goals already this season, Goal is Manchester United’s 2nd top
    scorer, two ahead of perpetually sedated Bulgarian hitman Dimitar
    Berbatov.

    Goal, who regularly partners fellow Utd striker “Dodgy Injury Time
    Winner” up front, is thought to be flattered by the interest from the
    Spanish giants.

    Own Goal’s agent, Paul Stretford, told reporters, “Of course he’s
    flattered, but he’s a United player and he’s very happy here.”

    “And apart from that, I’m not sure there are many defences as dire as
    Portsmouth’s in La Liga, so he may not get the same service in Spain.”

    Interest

    Real Madrid are understood to have been put on high alert after Own
    Goal’s spectacular hat-trick against Portsmouth last weekend.

    Spanish paper Marca have reported that Own Goal is the number one
    target for Madrid this summer, with Madrid’s president Perez quoted as
    saying, “You know I don’t like to talk about other clubs and their
    players, but I’ll do everything I can to get Manchester United’s Own
    Goal this summer.”

    “Despite reaching double figures for the season after banging in
    another at Villa Park this week, I actually hope he hits a dry spell
    for the rest of the season - then we won’t have to pay as much as we
    did for that greasy, diving, moaning little degenerate last summer.”

    Praise

    Berbatov, who has so far failed to impress at his time at United, has
    nothing but praise for his fellow striker.

    “The manager demands that we score, and Own Goal has come a long way
    this season, he’s a pleasure to play with, as it means I have to run
    even less - so I’m obviously chuffed,” concluded the only man alive
    who makes the Panda look hyperactive.

    United’s top scorer, Wayne Rooney, wants to see Own Goal - whose
    nationality isn’t certain - declare himself for England and play in
    this years World Cup.

    “Heskey, Defoe and Crouch, the three of them can P*ss off, I want to
    play up top with Ownie,” said Rooney.

    Sir Alex Ferguson however, is understood to be fuming at Real Madrid,
    who have yet again disrupted one of his best players in mid season.

    “I wouldn’t sell that mob Own Goal” he was understood to have said.

    “He’s our player and playing him means we don’t have to play that
    little scouser Michael Owen, which is a result” concluded the fiery
    Scot.

    --------

    Made me chuckle

  2. #2

    Re: Real £85m bid for Utd play

    Bloody true though isn't it!

    I'm biding my time, bad luck will come Utd's day at some point, be it next week or in 5 years, it has too

  3. #3
    Master Swoop's Avatar
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    Re: Real £85m bid for Utd play

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHeathens View Post
    Real Madrid have today risked the wrath of Manchester United manager
    Sir Alex Ferguson by planning an audacious world record bid for
    prolific Manchester United striker “Own Goal”.
    I don't think they'll want him after today's performance. Didn't even go close and was pretty well invisible.

  4. #4
    Master scott baistow 93's Avatar
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    Re: Real £85m bid for Utd play

    I just hope he hasent peaked before the world cup
    I ran and ran until my Muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid, ....And then i ran some more.

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