Depression

[freckle]

I'm sure we all wish Stagger well and it's clear he has lots of support on here and that plenty of others have been in similar circumstances (I can't say I've reached the grand age of 52 without a few wobbles on the way) and, I hope too, he will have got further support from private messages and friends closer to home.

Very well said

[Duncan R]

Just a note to Mountain Goatess & Stagger, thanks so much for posting here, there appears to be a lot of learning going on about how to use this medium effectively, especially with such a subject and for me certainly this has been very useful and I thank you both.

I've followed this forum for a while and, from reading both your various posts, it seems to me you are both intelligent, humourous, articulate & perceptive individuals who can probably discriminate between wheat & chaff. Sounds to me MG like you are absolutely spot on in your approach So, IMHO you made a bold but good call to post & I thank you.

[Mountain Goatess]

Hi Stagger

I wanted to add my support to you as well, though I dont know you I imagine it cant have been easy posting on here & I was very glad to read you were finding the responses useful. There is a lot of good will about & people here clearly care for & about you, so good luck with it Stagger.

Ive fortunately not had depression, but have friends who have & I thought I'd offer some of the things they did that helped, knowing that a) they may not work for you and b) seeing a suitably qualified bod is really the best way. So these are just for info & if any appeal to you or sound useful, great, if not, please disregard/delete as appropriate.

Keeping a diary worked well, just downloading stuff knowing it is private, never to be seen, appeared to help. It also allowed any mood changes to be noted (we used a 1-10 scale of mood) & importantly why that was, the self awareness gave strategies to deal with stuff which she felt gave her more control, which was important to her. She used to note 2 or 3 things at the end of each day that she was pleased with/proud of, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, they mounted up over time & helped.

When feeling overwhelmed we used to breakdown issues into a sort of mind map, then brainstorm ideas on what to do with each issue, sometimes as simple as a phone call, again this gave a feeling of control & momentum.

We built up a list of achievements, which I had printed off as the shape of a wall, in each brick she would put something she was proud of, eg passing a driving test, finishing 3 peaks, buying first flat, cooking a difficult meal, etc etc, we built this up over time & became a 'foundation' she could go to in dark times. We also worked on understanding the temporary nature of things, that this too, will pass. The diary gave us eveidence to reinforce that.
We designed a list of 'personal highlights', things which nutured & gave energy + peace & calm. So enjoying nature-listening to birds, walking in a wood, reading magazines/books, listening to music, (specifying what music) time with friends etc. Could be 5 minutes, 1 hour or all day, but hese highlights gave us stratagies to employ & again a sense of contro, we'd look for 'highlight opportunities' as we called them.

We did some meditation & worked with a concept callled mindfullness, which is about being in the moment, being fully present and engaging with the present. This worked very well & actually improved our running as well, eg ignore Fairfield, were on dollywagon, lets be fully on dollywagon and deal with Fairfield when it arrives...

Anyway, bottom line is these worked for us in managing it & helping controlling the black dog, and maybe there may be something for you mate, I may be repeating stuff which is already on here, for that I apologise, I only offer as examples of things I have seen work & fully recognise they may not work for everyone.

Best of luck Stagger, I know nothing of thyroids, I thought they were from Dr Who.
Best wishes
Duncan

And thankyou Duncs for providing a non-judgemental, helpful and positive post in a nice friendly manner.
I will certainly be taking some of your advice onboard, especially concentrating on those little moments of enjoyment such as mindfulness of the nature around us, reading a book or listening to a favourite piece of music....for although these are small things, I have been unable to relax/enjoy for a long time but have recently realised how much I have really missed them in my life. I know I am on the up as I am also starting to look forward to things again.
Thanks again for your kind advice

[stevefoster]

I'm sure we all wish Stagger well and it's clear he has lots of support on here and that plenty of others have been in similar circumstances (I can't say I've reached the grand age of 52 without a few wobbles on the way) and, I hope too, he will have got further support from private messages and friends closer to home.

Good post BL. I'll give Stagger all the support i can as he's close to my home and wish MG all the best from afar
Such a shame a lot of threads on here degenerate into arguments but that's life i suppose

[Mountain Goatess]

Good post BL. I'll give Stagger all the support i can as he's close to my home and wish MG all the best from afar
Such a shame a lot of threads on here degenerate into arguments but that's life i suppose

Thanks for your good wishes Steve and hope you are doing ok and getting on well in the new job.
I have noted of late that there seems to be alot of bickering and arguing on this forum...what's it all about man...I mean yeah, sure, everyone is entitled to there own opinions/views on things but really is there any need at all for some of the quite disrepectful and ferocious comments some make? It's so easy to vent ones opinion in a manner which shows respect to others feelings. You and I both know that but it's a shame some can't see beyond there own noses.

[Derby Tup]

Good post BL. I'll give Stagger all the support i can as he's close to my home and wish MG all the best from afar
Such a shame a lot of threads on here degenerate into arguments but that's life i suppose

Absolutely merry on all counts. Stagger and MG have many good friends on here who I'm sure will be supporting them in any way they can, me included

[stevefoster]

Thanks for your good wishes Steve and hope you are doing ok and getting on well in the new job.
I have noted of late that there seems to be alot of bickering and arguing on this forum...what's it all about man...I mean yeah, sure, everyone is entitled to there own opinions/views on things but really is there any need at all for some of the quite disrepectful and ferocious comments some make? It's so easy to vent ones opinion in a manner which shows respect to others feelings. You and I both know that but it's a shame some can't see beyond there own noses.

No need for disrespect and big nosed posters should be ignored
DT mentions good friends, we all know who they are

[CL]

Dear dear dear me...this situation is really quite saddening. I think it is really important that all those reading this thread are influenced by well informed guidance and not the opinionated ramblings of someone who has clearly no knowledge of depression as an illness, its etiology and proven treatments. From what you have said MG you are receiving (in my humble opinion) appropriate treatment and I would not let CL's views undermine this at all. Of course it is good to ask questions about treatment etc if you feel it would be helpful. THe difference between the people treating you and CL is that i) they have been trained ii) they are accountable. Unfortunately CL it is all very well saying "lets have a debate" but your insensitivity and polarised arguments are quite frankly unhelpful. Of course it is a free society and you can say what you like but it is proving offensive and worse still potentially detrimental.

MG I implore you to ignore CL's comments and concentrate on moving forward with the support you have available from trained professionals and trusted friends. Depression is a difficult condition but it is very treatable. It is not a sign of weakness, a character flaw , it doesn't reflect a failure it is a recognised and common disorder. Unfortunately I think this thread is now being used to air petty grievances taking it away from the original request to provide information/advice and support to a fellow forumite.

Good luck to all those who meeting this challenge at the minute.

Hang on I'm just recovering from a 'Judge Judy moment.'

MG has implied by her silence to my question, that she hasn't been tested for thyroid. If that is so the 'trained professionals' haven't done their job properly, by ruling out a legitimate cause.

As I've said before the 'trained professionals' are giving out pills like 'Auntie Maggie's Remedy,' because it pacifies people. Most of these people have no abnormal brain chemistry, yet the pills they're given are designed to manipulate these chemicals, so they feel something artificial.

In other words the pills repress normal grief processes, allowing time to pass without any psychological pain.

[Brotherton Lad]

Or her silence means she doesn't wish to discuss these matters in public.

I do agree with your point about the pills, though. In my own case, mid 90s, post Bosnia, pre-divorce, classic mid-life crisis at 36 years, I was put on Seroxat. I stopped taking them after 2 days, because they turned me into some zingy, pepped-up character I simply didn't recognise or want to be.

[CL]

This is getting out of hand now. Do you realize what impact this could have on someone suffering from depression and the serious implications that could happen as a result?!

You were making a very good valid point about thyroid related issues, and then you post this. Most people are trying to give advice as you were in the first instance, all be it some difference of opinion but generally trying to help. This comment is just damaging, and I really hope the admin have the sense to remove it.

I urge all to simply ignore this statement by C.L, its the single most rude, and damaging comment I have ever had the misfortune to read on any forum.

Whilst I may not agree with some of the content of Egor's posts I'm pretty sure both of us have posted what we have out of the passion for the jobs we do and the fact we want to help people get there lives back. Add to this the countless number of years of training and on the job experience we have both had. Had I Known this thread would come to this, I wouldn't have got involved - and may well steer clear of such threads again in the future.

You're getting over excited. I said 'some,' meaning not all. Anyway why would you want to suppress something that is true? I don't subscribe to the 'nothing is anyone's fault,' philosophy, just like I don't dress to conform to the 'scruffy jeans brigade.'

If Stagger doesn't want to hear what I've got to say, then he can tell me and I'll delete all my posts, and then get lost.