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Thread: MI6 in the car park

  1. #1
    Master noel's Avatar
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    MI6 in the car park

    There are two black BMWs parked in the car park outside my work. There's one man in each and they have the engines running. They've been there for about 20 minutes now.

    Basing my perception of the world on hollywood films, they must be either gangsters or secret agents. What should I do?
    No longer "resting"

  2. #2
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    It doesn't matter.

    By the time you read this, you'll already have been liquidated (liquidised?)

  3. #3
    Master Wheeze's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Prepare to activate bullet-time. Oh, and phone Tank for an exit
    I am Kuno....

  4. #4
    I need to run more. southernsoftie's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Slowly, calmly make your way to the door, grab a good looking lady by the arm, get her to take you to her car, drive very quickly through narrow streets (and stairways) to your local bank, make sure you've lost your tail first. Get access to your safe deposit box, remove 10k each in various currencies, as well as your gun and German, Russian, Israeli, Manx passports. Chuck it all in your duffle bag and drive off to a safe house, where you can try and work out who framed you, and what they want from you.
    "The best shield is to accept the pain, then what can really destroy me?"

    http://garyufm.blogspot.co.uk

  5. #5
    Master Wheeze's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Go down, bang on their roofs and yell out 'OK, which Doofus wants it first!)
    I am Kuno....

  6. #6
    Master noel's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    They're still there and they still have the engines running. I should probably report them to David Cameron for wasting tax-payers' money while damaging the environment.

    I've heard there's a scene in the next Bond film where his boss tells him off for wasting the departmental petrol allowance, and he gets a fiat punto for the rest of the film.

    No shooting yet... I'll keep you posted...
    No longer "resting"

  7. #7
    Master noel's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by southernsoftie View Post
    Slowly, calmly make your way to the door, grab a good looking lady by the arm, get her to take you to her car, drive very quickly through narrow streets (and stairways) to your local bank, make sure you've lost your tail first. Get access to your safe deposit box, remove 10k each in various currencies, as well as your gun and German, Russian, Israeli, Manx passports. Chuck it all in your duffle bag and drive off to a safe house, where you can try and work out who framed you, and what they want from you.
    I decided this was the best option. I tried to find a good looking lady but could only find Derek from accounts.

    The bank is on a one-way street, so I moved 100 from my ISA into my current account using internet banking.

    ...hang on a minute. They're obviously intercepting communications. They've both driven off. I don't have a safe-house - should I go and hide in the toilets for ten minutes?
    No longer "resting"

  8. #8
    Grandmaster dominion's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by southernsoftie View Post
    Slowly, calmly make your way to the door, grab a good looking lady by the arm, get her to take you to her car, drive very quickly through narrow streets (and stairways) to your local bank, make sure you've lost your tail first. Get access to your safe deposit box, remove 10k each in various currencies, as well as your gun and German, Russian, Israeli, Manx passports. Chuck it all in your duffle bag and drive off to a safe house, where you can try and work out who framed you, and what they want from you.
    You've missed the bit where you run around throwing yourself to the ground and rolling over a few times....


    or you could go and ask them for a price on a bag of smack??

  9. #9
    Master noel's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by dominion View Post
    You've missed the bit where you run around throwing yourself to the ground and rolling over a few times....
    I did consider jumping out of the window into the cherry tree and then running through people's gardens and onto rooftops and the like. If films are anything to go by, that seems to be the best way to run away from someone these days. It's obviously faster than running along a footpath.

    But then, it's quite wet today and I didn't fancy slipping while pirouetting over a particularly high wall.
    No longer "resting"

  10. #10
    I need to run more. southernsoftie's Avatar
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    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by noel View Post
    I decided this was the best option. I tried to find a good looking lady but could only find Derek from accounts.

    The bank is on a one-way street, so I moved 100 from my ISA into my current account using internet banking.

    ...hang on a minute. They're obviously intercepting communications. They've both driven off. I don't have a safe-house - should I go and hide in the toilets for ten minutes?
    Derek from accounts. lol
    "The best shield is to accept the pain, then what can really destroy me?"

    http://garyufm.blogspot.co.uk

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