Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 51

Thread: MI6 in the car park

  1. #21
    Master noel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Mountains of Cheshire
    Posts
    5,251

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by sore legs View Post
    Perhaps they have now recce'd their route / entry point / target ......... has anyone failed to turn up for work??

    Perhaps Derek in payroll is being held at home while the company's millions are being cybered away to a Cayman Island account. Best carryout a quick roll call - or just phone for Jack Bauer's assistance. :w00t:
    It's so hard to know what type of film I should use to inform me of the almost certain impending peril. Is this a "me versus the sinister state" type of situation, or is it a "I'm part of the state versus an organised gang" type of situation. Alternatively, it could be an "it's all so secret, no-one knows what's going on" type of thing. I hope it's not something weird like a David Cronenberg film. I'll let you know if any badly made typewriter-insects walk into the room, or if anyone starts having sex with their computer screen.

    All these years of watching action films. You'd think I'd know what to do by now.

    One thing's for certain, I should definitely be wearing sunglasses, even inside. And forward rolls are the preferred means of getting around the place.
    No longer "resting"

  2. #22
    Senior Member Duncan R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Kendal
    Posts
    471

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Firstly, Im very pleased the M6 isnt being built through your car park, as I initially mis-read.

    Secondly, thanks to Noel & SouthernSoftie for making me laugh so much with their posts here, you both should be script writers (or maybe you are...)

    Thirdly, it is clear to me Noel you need to be extremely vigilant, I'm not entirely convinced there arnt alien overtones to this. I think it is important you trust no one (you shouldnt from accounts anyway) analyse any movement or behaviour that is in the slightest unusual. Keep your back to a wall at all times and only drink/eat things after tested by someone else (from accounts say).

    Keep the glasses on, thats basic, check your hidden armoury in the photocopier (damn, given it away), your spare clothes for after the knife fights and your OS 1:50,000 maps of the world chips that display on the inside of your glasses. Dont walk and read this maps at the same time unless passed out at level 4, Health &Safety- spy walk & read course.

    Keep checkin your spelling and dont answer any any question asked in Rusian in English, that will just give it away. Good luck Noel, I may self destruct in 30 seconds unless I can get coffee.
    "You have brains in your head, your feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose". Dr Seuss.

  3. #23
    Master Brotherton Lad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    daarn sarf
    Posts
    1,641

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Dobrie dyen, tovarich! Kak dela?

    You'll know things are about to warm up when the music in your head speeds up at the same time as events around you go into slow motion.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Duncan R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Kendal
    Posts
    471

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Good point BL, as I said, be alert, (we need more lerts!), and v useful to speak Welsh in these situations too...your clearly a good man to have around BL.
    "You have brains in your head, your feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose". Dr Seuss.

  5. #25
    Master noel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Mountains of Cheshire
    Posts
    5,251

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by Brotherton Lad View Post
    Dobrie dyen, tovarich! Kak dela?
    I'm good thanks comrade. How are you? Ooops.
    No longer "resting"

  6. #26
    I need to run more. southernsoftie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Wherever you find me is where I will be
    Posts
    5,653

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    When you look at your watch, does your vision suddenly break into 4 geometric blocks, with annoying beeps ticking off the seconds, a la 24?

    What other things can we learn from film to keep you safe?

    When getting on a train, and someone talks to you in your native tongue, reply in German, even if only getting the 7.06 to Blackfriars. Just to be safe.

    The person fiddling with the telephone exchange box *is* hooking up a tap on your line, so you *are* within your rights to kill them.

    If someone bumps into in the office, burn your jacket in your waste bin: they've secreted a GPS tracking device on your person.

    Only use your mobile walking along a river/canal bank: makes disposal after each call easier (just toss it in).
    "The best shield is to accept the pain, then what can really destroy me?"

    http://garyufm.blogspot.co.uk

  7. #27
    Lola
    Guest

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Good point SS I'd forgotten the phone thing.

    Top Tip #2: Don't try changing the SIM in your phone and feeling safe, the trace works on a combination of the SIM code and the specific hanset code combined. Cheap PAYG and into the canal sounds best.

    At least with the good weather there is less chance of poisoned tip umbrellas being an issue.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Duncan R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Kendal
    Posts
    471

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    And keep the plastic face wax of Tom Cruise handy, spray on if you feel followed, alternatively stick a picture of TC on a Halloween mask but keep some spare elastic in case the one holding the mask in place snaps.

    Ensure you remember where you parked the invisible car.
    "You have brains in your head, your feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose". Dr Seuss.

  9. #29
    Master noel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Mountains of Cheshire
    Posts
    5,251

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Quote Originally Posted by duncs View Post
    Ensure you remember where you parked the invisible car.
    Although this seemed like a great idea when I first bought it. People kept breaking into it because they could see the sat nav was in the glove compartment. Also, I used to get funny looks driving it, and it's much harder to surreptitiously pick your nose when you're driving an invisible car.

    In fact, a few months ago I decided to have it painted to look like a non-invisble car. Imaging my horror when I realised the guy doing the spray job had sprayed it as an HTP model, whereas actually it's a VRS. Also, he did it in standard pacific blue, whereas it had been storm blue (which is a metallic colour) when it was invisible. :thunbdown:
    No longer "resting"

  10. #30
    Senior Member Duncan R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Kendal
    Posts
    471

    Re: MI6 in the car park

    Should've read the manual Noel, beginners error..agents spraying invisible cars is causing unforseen problems
    "You have brains in your head, your feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose". Dr Seuss.

Similar Threads

  1. Heaton Park Run 5k
    By Timothydaltonmyarse in forum Other Races
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 08-10-2010, 12:20 PM
  2. Hyde Park Triathlon
    By RichardAThackeray in forum General chat!
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 25-07-2010, 09:20 PM
  3. Hyde Park 5k series
    By Tussockface in forum Other Races
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-05-2010, 11:18 AM
  4. Heaton Park...
    By NirvanaBliss in forum General chat!
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-05-2009, 06:55 PM
  5. Clumber Park 10k
    By MattHunt in forum Other Races
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-09-2008, 12:26 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •