Bulking Up

[Mountain Goatess]

You could always watch 'The Gruffalo' and follow the mouse's tactics!

[Dynamo Dan]

I knew this guy who used to get picked on at school. Things started to change for him when he met an elderly Japanese man. He made him wax cars and paint a fence, eventually he was practising flashy Karate kicks on a post in the sea just off a beach near our house. Needless to say this wimpy guy triumphed in the end!

I've never needed help like that, I travelled to Nepal as a boy where I met a man who taught how to kick a head clean off someone's body. I have decepitated many men who crossed me since then including one man at Pendle Fell Race recently. His head rolled all the way down the hill and landed in the resevoir with a plop!

[JohnM32]

John you'll have to hit him on the chin with a reversed roundhouse, but be careful you don't lose your balance. Even worse is if you telegraph the move and he grabs your leg, then you'll really be in for it.

So you think the chin is the best place? The only problem is that I'm going to try and catch him when he's not expecting it and if I go for his chin then he will see me coming. What's a reversed roundhouse?

I really really don't know what to do. I'm going to get a kicking if he sees me coming - I think I can outrun him but he'll probably be with his mates. Do I confront him or not?

[nikalas]

Thanks Nikalas. You seem to know what you're talking about - do you have any other suggestions?

I'm afraid not apart from either avoiding him, taking your kicking or getting a really hard mate to hang out with you.

[JohnM32]

I knew this guy who used to get picked on at school. Things started to change for him when he met an elderly Japanese man. He made him wax cars and paint a fence, eventually he was practising flashy Karate kicks on a post in the sea just off a beach near our house. Needless to say this wimpy guy triumphed in the end!

I've never needed help like that, I travelled to Nepal as a boy where I met a man who taught how to kick a head clean off someone's body. I have decepitated many men who crossed me since then including one man at Pendle Fell Race recently. His head rolled all the way down the hill and landed in the resevoir with a plop!

Please don't make light of my situation. I'm petrified of what this guy is gonna do.

I'm thinking it'd be better to face up before we go back to college because he's a bit of a psycho and will be surrounded by knives and cleavers at college.

If you hit someone just below the back of their head (on the neck) - are they likely to go down quickly? How much force do you need to put into it?

[Skarsnik]

Rocky used to neck about 8 raw eggs for breakfast, before pounding the streets of Philly. You could try this.

Also, get Kick Ass on dvd. Might give you some ideas.

Thanks for a snigger though - probably the first time the forum has made me laugh out loud...

Please don't make light of my situation. I'm petrified of what this guy is gonna do.

I'm thinking it'd be better to face up before we go back to college because he's a bit of a psycho and will be surrounded by knives and cleavers at college.

If you hit someone just below the back of their head (on the neck) - are they likely to go down quickly? How much force do you need to put into it?

[Hank]

I've already taken one beating from this guy...

If he's already chinned you once why does he want to do it again? Is he just going to beat you up again and again for the rest of his, or more likely your, life?

[Dynamo Dan]

Please don't make light of my situation. I'm petrified of what this guy is gonna do.

I'm thinking it'd be better to face up before we go back to college because he's a bit of a psycho and will be surrounded by knives and cleavers at college.

If you hit someone just below the back of their head (on the neck) - are they likely to go down quickly? How much force do you need to put into it?

Every time I've decapitated someone with my Nepalese Dragon kick they've dropped like a sack of sh*t. It's similar to a roundhouse but I spin through the air thriteen times before blasting the head clean off. They can see me coming but the spiraling motion of my body leaves them transfixed.

You need to harness your hard chi energy. Anything is possible with hard chi. They sell it in Chinatown round the back of Picadilly Bus Station, Manchester, next to a hardware store specialising in tartan paint and long stands.

If you can't master the Nepalese Dragonkick I'd just kick him in the knackers and leg it...

[L.F.F.]

Go to an arcade in the mid-90s and play Streetfighter II for a few hours to get some tips. Give the bully a few 'ryukens' or sonic booms and he'll be laughing on the other side of his face.

All the best.

[Derby Tup]

Great thread. I'm still chuckling at the piss-filled water pistol. Much better than the usual 'what colour pants to wear for the Borrowdale' fare