Right!!!
It's been brought to my attention that the hopeless staff in charge of my gaff have been letting you lot run amock in my pub! We'll I'm back from my holiday in Brussels teaching them Euro-Franglais types about why Britain needs it's pints, and it's feet and inches and so I'm going to start clamping down on all this twaddle around here.
So the rules, at this time and subject to change without notice are, no football talk, no slagging off Channel 4 - write to Channel 4 if you're that bothered cuz we don't care! No slagging off the Olympics (Not when I can charge a fiver a pint for a few weeks!), no gobbing off about people from other countries needing their own road signs (except the French), and NO accusing anyone of being a Guardian reading liberal lesbian from Hebden Bridge! Guardian reading liberal lesbians from Hebden Bridge are more than welcome in my pub as long as they stand their round. And tip well. Unless they're French obviously...
And if you break the rules in my esteemed establishment, YOU'RE BARRED!!
Oh bugger, wrong skit....
Best regards,
The Guv’nor
ps, will one of you skinflints put some money in the jukebox and get me a pint of warm Stella in? Ahhh!!! Nothing like a warm pint of English Stella!
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