Sounds like there is no quick answer to this then if that is how you think. Short term you could look at primary care mental health which is accessed by seeing your GP who can make the referral. They will be able to offer you a short course of CBT which will help you change the way you think about things and how those thoughts influence your actions. this will be a start. Form that it could be determined whether or not you would benefit from further input. Most places also have anger management projects that you may also find helpful.
Where are you based? I can try to look into whats available in your area.