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Thread: Anger management

  1. #1
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Anger management

    I've got an anger problem; not with people but with things and jobs. Because of what happened on friday, one of the car windows is put through, there's a row of knuckles down the door and my right hand is purple. A couple of months ago i landed a hammer fist on the outside of the house wall and it really buggered my wrist. I'm a great believer in A Vogel tinctures, does anyone use any of these such as Biloba for mental wellbeing?

    There's a large portion of wanker in me which needs suppressing somehow. I used to have violence problems towards other children when i was young but now i just smash things up all the time like a dick.
    Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent

  2. #2
    Moderator noel's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    But what's fuelling the anger. Frustration? If you dealt with that would it stop you getting angry?

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    Master Rob Furness's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    I sympathise mr b. I have plenty of temper tantrums myself (usually work or driving related). Although it's rare I would lash out, I have put my fist through a plasterboard wall at home once and had to fix it, and another time I dented the roof of my van by punching the ceiling. Nothing can be more depressing than the feeling of utter stupidity you feel after doing these things and realising you're going to have to put it right. These days I take a relaxed attitude to things, take a deep breath and promise myself a run later. A good blast out usually clears the cobwebs out and makes me feel better.
    @Hill_Runner on twitter

  4. #4
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    Quote Originally Posted by noel View Post
    But what's fuelling the anger. Frustration? If you dealt with that would it stop you getting angry?
    My life fuels it. The way it turned out, who i am, things that happen to me...i'd love to be somebody else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Furness View Post
    I sympathise mr b. I have plenty of temper tantrums myself (usually work or driving related). Although it's rare I would lash out, I have put my fist through a plasterboard wall at home once and had to fix it, and another time I dented the roof of my van by punching the ceiling. Nothing can be more depressing than the feeling of utter stupidity you feel after doing these things and realising you're going to have to put it right. These days I take a relaxed attitude to things, take a deep breath and promise myself a run later. A good blast out usually clears the cobwebs out and makes me feel better.
    I'd love to be able to go for a run whenever i felt like it, unfortunately i'm limited to 1 a week. Whenever i try and take a deep breath and try to chill out, a little voice in my head says i've let the thing that was pissing me off win; ridiculous thought process.
    Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent

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    Headmaster Grouse's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    Try meditation. When you get up, just sit for ten minutes and be aware of your breath, Try to count ten breaths without letting your thoughts wander off (it's not easy). The aim is to become aware of your thought processes and be able to recognise patterns of thinking, how negative thoughts arise and so on. I just fold my pillow in half and sit on it for ten minutes first thing in the morning, you are supposed to do it sitting upright without support but i prop myself against the bed - it's important to keep your back straight. It sounds all zen and esoteric but it's it's just common sense.
    Tao begets one. One begets two. Two begets all things.

  6. #6
    Master Rob Furness's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    Saw you at the shop this morning in the Skoda Mr B, I was going to say hi but you looked in a rush and I didn't really have time as I was off to PECO and was running late myself.
    @Hill_Runner on twitter

  7. #7
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Furness View Post
    Saw you at the shop this morning in the Skoda Mr B, I was going to say hi but you looked in a rush and I didn't really have time as I was off to PECO and was running late myself.
    That's right, the one with the perspex passenger window . Yeah, i'm rolling Eastern Bloc this winter, i was on the way to Famous Grouse but had to collect the sunday paper beforehand.
    Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent

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    Re: Anger management

    As you are lashing out, or even a bit before, there must be a part of your brain saying "I am going to regret this" - work on amplifying this by becoming much more aware of it, thinking this process over after an outburst - not to punish yourself, but to learn from it and hopefully avoid lashing out in the first place.

  9. #9
    Master mr brightside's Avatar
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    Re: Anger management

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike T View Post
    As you are lashing out, or even a bit before, there must be a part of your brain saying "I am going to regret this" - work on amplifying this by becoming much more aware of it, thinking this process over after an outburst - not to punish yourself, but to learn from it and hopefully avoid lashing out in the first place.
    Most of the time it's overpowered by the urge to smash something up, the regret takes about 20mins to kick in.
    Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent

  10. #10
    Master and MR
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    Re: Anger management

    Quote Originally Posted by Grouse View Post
    Try meditation. When you get up, just sit for ten minutes and be aware of your breath, Try to count ten breaths without letting your thoughts wander off (it's not easy). The aim is to become aware of your thought processes and be able to recognise patterns of thinking, how negative thoughts arise and so on. I just fold my pillow in half and sit on it for ten minutes first thing in the morning, you are supposed to do it sitting upright without support but i prop myself against the bed - it's important to keep your back straight. It sounds all zen and esoteric but it's it's just common sense.
    You call it meditationId call it self actualization. You found what works for you.

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