Copied over from FB with Darren's blessing

I’ve always been in awe of Bob.

I had a grandad called Bob who I idolised as a child. He always made me feel grown up, so much so he insisted I called him Bob as grandad sounded soft. There’s no way Bob was going to have a mardy-arsed grandson. He’d sit me down to eat tripe with vinegar then we’d go and build stuff in his shed. I thought Bob was the best joiner in the world as I’d watch him making garden furnishings etc. A few years later when I’d served my time as a Carpenter I soon realised Bob’s garden furniture was crap....I kept my feelings to myself, I couldn’t upset Bob, I worshipped him.
Bob was a coal miner and so were most of his mates. I’d often join them sitting on the garden wall whilst they’d be putting the world to rights. They didn’t much like Margaret Thatcher, nor Mr Gilbert across the road...the flash bugger owned a car, worked in Banking. I was a kid amongst grownups but felt part of the old pit men’s gang. Spending so much time with the old lancastrians would often get me into bother. At school I was told to talk properly and not so broad, apparently Mrs Smith my teacher was from Charnock Richard and thought she was posh...that’s what Bob told me. Ironically years later Bob was invited into the local school to give a talk to the kids about his experiences of working ‘down’t pit’. Bob’s influences on me would also get me into trouble at home. If I was prompted to pull Bob’s finger he’d fart and I’d be in hysterics...we still did this up to him dying when I was in my 30’s. I’d try this at home as a child, “mum pull my finger”...I’d let one rip and mum would get straight on the phone, “Dad stop teaching Darren bad habits”....I miss Bob, I really do.

“Alison pull my finger”....old habits die hard.

No Bob could ever replace grandad Bob...not even Robert ‘Bob’ Calvert came close when I was going through my obsessive Hawkwind phase. The charismatic lead singer was constantly on my turntable to my parents dismay....”turn that rubbish down”....I get some same treatment now living with Alison but it’s usually, “turn that shit off”