I wanna know if there’s any truth in the rumour that UK Athletics are considering a new revenue raising scheme using a certain brand of electronic tags (dibbers to you and me) to transmit our biometric ID to their database so they can track/levy fees. Apparently the system will automatically detect when an FRA member runs a road race & their account gets debited £5 !
Sounds fair to me, how else will our elite athletes be able to afford their drugs?
Top response of 2008...so far!
Simon Blease
Monmouth
A hypodermic chip would be better - you wouldn't forget to put it on then.
I'm gonna get that cwazy gwouse...
And then UKA could sell on the information to interested parties like...umm, the Police or Mr Gordon Broon and raise even more money for pharmacological recreation!
Simon Blease
Monmouth
Is that a bell? Or is it a rumour of the death knell for running as we know it.
What, £5 per race or for the year or what?
They'll be levying congestions and road tax charges for runners next.
A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table: research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Last edited by FellMonster; 29-02-2008 at 03:13 PM.
f**k the system
I thought you were in the army?!Originally Posted by Fleeter
i was,not anymore
Excellent wind up - must 'borrow' this for April Fool's day
Also, I've not been posting much recently and can't help noticing that the word 'ballbag' is appearing with alarming frequency. What did i miss?
Last edited by Mark Smith; 29-02-2008 at 05:34 PM.
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