I feel like i'm falling apart

[Danbert Nocurry]

I know that advancing years brings a lot of unwanted things - long nose-hair etc. but I can deal with that.

I've noticed something strange happening over the last couple of weeks though.................... if I get taken by surprise with a big sneeze, then I involuntarily fart as well !! not a big fart, but it's there !

What is going on ? is this the beginning of the end? will I soon be shitting me'self on a daily basis?

Nurse !!!

[Darth domain]

I know that advancing years brings a lot of unwanted things - long nose-hair etc. but I can deal with that.

I've noticed something strange happening over the last couple of weeks though.................... if I get taken by surprise with a big sneeze, then I involuntarily fart as well !! not a big fart, but it's there !

What is going on ? is this the beginning of the end? will I soon be shitting me'self on a daily basis?

Nurse !!!

Well,, at leasst you haven't drawn mud yet, when we advance chronologically, the old muscles here and there tend to start failing, you just need to practice sneezing and coughing in a manner that puts no pressure on the old ass and pelvic muscles etc. then one will not need to use tenna for men.

[Danbert Nocurry]

Well,, at leasst you haven't drawn mud yet, when we advance chronologically, the old muscles here and there tend to start failing, you just need to practice sneezing and coughing in a manner that puts no pressure on the old ass and pelvic muscles etc. then one will not need to use tenna for men.

Thanks Doctor Darth

[The General]

I know what you mean Danbert. I have to shake myself for ages after a p*ss these days, or i'm guaranteed to drip down my leg.

It never used to be like this. Previously I had an automatic on/off valve. Now my internal washer has obviously worn.

I fear for the future!

[Pilgrim]

I know what you mean Danbert. I have to shake myself for ages after a p*ss these days, or i'm guaranteed to drip down my leg.

It never used to be like this. Previously I had an automatic on/off valve. Now my internal washer has obviously worn.

I fear for the future!

Can't remember where I heard it but I've heard it may be due to low zinc levels.

[Chugger]

I know that advancing years brings a lot of unwanted things - long nose-hair etc. but I can deal with that.

I've noticed something strange happening over the last couple of weeks though.................... if I get taken by surprise with a big sneeze, then I involuntarily fart as well !! not a big fart, but it's there !

What is going on ? is this the beginning of the end? will I soon be shitting me'self on a daily basis?

Nurse !!!

"PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES".
Men have an easier life than us women as they only have two holes under their pelvis........just imagine what state you'd be in if you had babies.
(Multi-tasking is mandatory in females.)

As for the "post micturition dribble" described by The General......you need your pelvic floor there too.

Professor Grace Dorey has done some very interesting work in this area and has written several volumes of guidance, should "tackle lifting" be beyond your understanding.

[Danbert Nocurry]

I know what you mean Danbert. I have to shake myself for ages after a p*ss these days, or i'm guaranteed to drip down my leg.

It never used to be like this. Previously I had an automatic on/off valve. Now my internal washer has obviously worn.

I fear for the future!

I know exactly what you mean - light coloured trousers are a thing of the past for me. There are only so many times you can use the 'bloody hell, that's a powerful tap' excuse!

Chugger i'm just about to google Professor Grace Dorey

[Chugger]

You could certainly do worse than try The Continence Foundation Site:- http://www.continence-foundation.org...-exercises.php and scrolling down to the Men's section.

There may be other reasons why you (as an elite athlete!) may have some changes in pelvic floor function: high impact activity on a repetative basis means that these muscles are called on to a greater extent than in the general population. There are a few research papers looking at the incidence of such problems in women who compete/perform at a high level.

Put it this way, Danbert.......don't take up trampolining until you feel that things have improved.

Another argument (made in some of the texts) is that imbalance or poor coordination of the core muscles may well be a factor in pelvic floor dysfunction........are your superficial abdominals called upon to overwork and putting increasing pressure on the muscles below?? Do you do any specific "core" stuff?
(The other option here is that the pelvic floor is just like the bottom of a carrier bag.......so the more weight you are carrying, the more strain is transmitted down there too!!)

Apologies if this is all too much at this time in the morning, but I have reviewed some of the research into pelvic floor dysfunction in athletic women (part of my current Masters thing......which I should be doing now!!)
It is a rare thing to get to share this info. so I just took the opportunity.
Thanks!

[southernsoftie]

Can't remember where I heard it but I've heard it may be due to low zinc levels.

Someone suggested this as a solution to the problems in Israel/Palestine (delete as appropriate). Apparently a lack of zinc increases aggression. He suggested they ship loads of Marmite out there to calm everyone down.

So there you go.

Marmite: Peace in the Middle East; Piss stays in the middle leg.

[poppy]

".................... if I get taken by surprise with a big sneeze, then I involuntarily fart as well !! "

Maybe you're becoming a goat? Its the only animal capable of belching and farting simultaneously.

Got to go, seen some gassing goats......phewww...

Baaa, grrr