The Masters Lounge

[Graham Breeze]

I'm old, I live in Wales and I'm still awake. Hardcore ��
Forgot, happy new year ��

Old? You arent old!


My mother is 99 and every year in the week following her birthday she receives a nice letter from her pension provider checking that her details are correct so they "can continue to provide her pension efficiently". All quite sweet and caring.

Of course what they are really doing is checking that she is still here and that I am not funding my debauched fell runner lifestyle with her pension. Her autograph is easily copied. We both wonder at what age there will be an actual knock-on-the-door visit to check up.

Although by then I should be in the Cayman Islands.

[molehill]

Old? You arent old!


My mother is 99 and every year in the week following her birthday she receives a nice letter from her pension provider checking that her details are correct so they "can continue to provide her pension efficiently". All quite sweet and caring.

Of course what they are really doing is checking that she is still here and that I am not funding my debauched fell runner lifestyle with her pension. Her autograph is easily copied. We both wonder at what age there will be an actual knock-on-the-door visit to check up.

Although by then I should be in the Cayman Islands.

I receive a pension from Germany for the couple of years I worked there as a youngster, it's about £3 a week (nearly saved enough to join you in the Caymans), but every year I am sent a "proof of life" form to fill in and be countersigned. The whole thing is more trouble than it's worth but as a matter of principal I squeeze every penny I can out of the Germans.

[mr brightside]

I'm not used to daytime television. All the adverts are for life insurance and planning your no fuss cremation.

[anthonykay]

I'm not used to daytime television. All the adverts are for life insurance and planning your no fuss cremation.

My wife occasionally watches daytime TV, and I've seen these adverts for no-fuss cremation. I want a more environmentally beneficial no-fuss disposal of my body: now that red kites are reasonably common, can I just be left out on a hillside somewhere for the birds to have a good feed?

[mr brightside]

My wife occasionally watches daytime TV, and I've seen these adverts for no-fuss cremation. I want a more environmentally beneficial no-fuss disposal of my body: now that red kites are reasonably common, can I just be left out on a hillside somewhere for the birds to have a good feed?

I don't think you can, no. Not unless it's on private land and specially licensed for such purposes.

[molehill]

My wife occasionally watches daytime TV, and I've seen these adverts for no-fuss cremation. I want a more environmentally beneficial no-fuss disposal of my body: now that red kites are reasonably common, can I just be left out on a hillside somewhere for the birds to have a good feed?

This kind of reminds me of a time looking after some friends sheep and stock when they went away. A sheep died and she told us to leave it by the gate - I had to drag the bloody carcase across the field - with an old tarpaulin over it and a £10 note attached to it's leg.
This we duly did and little happened for several days, other than decomposition and an unholy stink. Then miraculously, one morning, the dead sheep had gone. Who knows where?

Allowing for many years inflation, I suggest to attach £25 to you foot and leave the rest to me 👍.

[Graham Breeze]

My wife occasionally watches daytime TV, and I've seen these adverts for no-fuss cremation. I want a more environmentally beneficial no-fuss disposal of my body: now that red kites are reasonably common, can I just be left out on a hillside somewhere for the birds to have a good feed?

You could leave it to a Medical School. Some still take bodies as distinct from using plastic toys for students to learn on.

It's a free service and useful to society. There won't be any hypocritical mumbo jumbo - but that shouldn't trouble you by then.

[anthonykay]

I want a more environmentally beneficial no-fuss disposal of my body: now that red kites are reasonably common, can I just be left out on a hillside somewhere for the birds to have a good feed?

This kind of reminds me of a time looking after some friends sheep and stock when they went away. A sheep died and she told us to leave it by the gate - I had to drag the bloody carcase across the field - with an old tarpaulin over it and a £10 note attached to it's leg.
This we duly did and little happened for several days, other than decomposition and an unholy stink. Then miraculously, one morning, the dead sheep had gone. Who knows where?

I'm just wondering what the red kites spent the £10 on.

In my student days I occasionally hitch-hiked to fell races. On one occasion in the Lake District I was picked up by someone whose job was going around farms to take away dead sheep for disposal. Fortunately he didn't have any on his vehicle at the time.

[molehill]

I'm just wondering what the red kites spent the £10 on.

In my student days I occasionally hitch-hiked to fell races. On one occasion in the Lake District I was picked up by someone whose job was going around farms to take away dead sheep for disposal. Fortunately he didn't have any on his vehicle at the time.

It was probably his "cousin" that was operating down in Sussex, as for what red kites would spend their £10 on......chips.

[noel]

They do sky burials in Tibet. I believe the bodies are chopped up a bit first for the vultures.

Given that red kites typically are fed by throwing food into the air, you'd need to be quite finely diced before being scattered.