Why did the chicken cross the road?
According to FIFA it didn't cross the road!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
According to FIFA it didn't cross the road!
Q do news editors ever read any of the headline banners? I think not try this one.... Priceless
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6622I420100703
Excellent. Reminds me of that one a few months back: MPs call for jobs blow to be reversed - Peterborough TodayOriginally Posted by IanDarkpeak
Womens rights
Please dont get offended by this...it's only a joke
Trying to plod up hills every day slightly faster than the day before
One for all you Lancastrians courtesy of Crumblydown
An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Leeds taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Bradford
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Leeds and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to York, Rotheram, Sheffield Dewsbury, and Pickering
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Yorkshire decided to travel up to Lancashire to see if Lancastrians had the same phone.
He arrived in Bolton , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over yorkshire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in yorkshirethe price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Lancashire now, son ... it's a local call.'
How true........
If you are proud to be a Lancastrian then pass this on eh!
Hills and Guinness!
Sigh! poor lancastrians...... Second againOne for all you Lancastrians courtesy of Crumblydown
An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Leeds taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Bradford
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Leeds and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to York, Rotheram, Sheffield Dewsbury, and Pickering
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Yorkshire decided to travel up to Lancashire to see if Lancastrians had the same phone.
He arrived in Bolton , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over yorkshire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in yorkshirethe price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Lancashire now, son ... it's a local call.'
How true........
If you are proud to be a Lancastrian then pass this on eh!
http://forum.fellrunner.org.uk/showt...879#post333879
:w00t::w00t:
Hehe...
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.
(probably works better spoken!)
Geoff Clarke
He He, missed that one, glad i'm from Yorkshire, although me mum's a lanc and me dad was Hungarian so i can play for loads of teams
Hills and Guinness!
Man walks into a bookshop and says, "Do you have that new self help book for men with really small dicks?" Girl behind the counter replies "Sorry, it's not in yet". Bloke says... "Yeah, that's the one...."
Absolutely Brilliant
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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