Today's Joke

[Mossdog]

Please stop! You're all being Sicily.

[Jez Hellewell]

I bet your wife put that last one. Jamaica do it ?

Please stop! You're all being Sicily.

[Mossdog]

I bet your wife put that last one. Jamaica do it ?

No. I went to PERUs my atlas and I found something INDIA. If you want to borrow the atlas, IRELAND you it. Sorry these 'jokes' are becoming totally Nepal-ing!!!!

[Swoop]

A close finish in the Great Manchester 10K on Sunday with only 8 seconds between the first three.
The winner was highly delighted, the second was highly disappointed and the third was Haile Gebrselassie.

[dominion]

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church. The priest says "Sorry, you're not allowed in here". The Higson Boson particle replies, "Why not?? Without me there'll be no mass!"

[Witton Park]

A Scotsman goes into a Dentist and says “I have a major filling that needs doing, how much please?”
Dentist “Och aye, that’ll be just £80”.
“That’s a bit expensive, can you offer a discount if you don’t use anaesthetic?”
“Yes I can but it’ll be awful painful but that will only be £40”.
“Never mind that, and can you give me a discount if you use your apprentice dental technician?”
“Yes but it will hurt even more….but I’ll only charge you £20”.
“And what if I allow the rest of your staff to observe the operation?”
“That would be very useful training, OK that’s £5 all in…now can we agree an appointment?”
“Yes, I’d like to book my wife in for next Tuesday please!

[MickTor]

A Scotsman goes into a Dentist and says “I have a major filling that needs doing, how much please?”
Dentist “Och aye, that’ll be just £80”.
“That’s a bit expensive, can you offer a discount if you don’t use anaesthetic?”
“Yes I can but it’ll be awful painful but that will only be £40”.
“Never mind that, and can you give me a discount if you use your apprentice dental technician?”
“Yes but it will hurt even more….but I’ll only charge you £20”.
“And what if I allow the rest of your staff to observe the operation?”
“That would be very useful training, OK that’s £5 all in…now can we agree an appointment?”
“Yes, I’d like to book my wife in for next Tuesday please!

Chuckled at that one WP!

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!

[Richard Shlong]

Knock knock...

[XRunner]

Knock knock...

Go away, we are not listening.

[noel]

Go on then...

Who's there?