Today's Joke

[that_fjell_guy]

Why does Edward Woodward have so many d's in his name?

If he didn't he'd be called Ewar Woowar

[Swoop]

I think I am developing kleptomania but my doctor has told me not to take anything.

[noel]

I tried to tell a joke to an eskimo the other day, but Inuit.

[noel]

How do you get down from an elephant?



[pause to think]


[and a bit more]

You don't get down from an elephant, you get it from a duck.

[Derby Tup]

Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains. Come on, pull yourself together man

[porcupine]

i think somehow during the hardmoors i will be vanishing

[William Clough]

We DID NOT walk 500 miles.

And we WOULD NOT walk 500 more.

~The Disclaimers

[noel]

I overheard our milkman bragging to some people in the pub the other night. He said he'd had sex with every woman on my street except one.

I went home and told my wife what he'd said. She thought for a moment and then said "I bet it's her at number 14, the snooty cow."

[Mark Smith]

Girl in very short skirt is in the back of a cab. Mid-journey, she confesses to the driver that she has no money, but she has 'this'.... and proceeds to flash him a Dutch wink. He has a think and asks, 'You got anything smaller?'

Sorry

[Richard Head]

Girl in very short skirt is in the back of a cab. Mid-journey, she confesses to the driver that she has no money, but she has 'this'.... and proceeds to flash him a Dutch wink. He has a think and asks, 'You got anything smaller?'

Sorry

Not been to see John Bishop have you mate, only he told that joke at The Hydro