Today's Joke

[Mossdog]

Some people say mountains aren't funny. Personally, I've always considered them to be hilly areas...

[Mossdog]

Where do they make average things? The satisfactory ...

[Mark G]

Three trail runners were out on a training run when they came across a set of tracks. "Those are deer tracks" said the first. "No, you are wrong, they are rabbit tracks" said the second. "You are both wrong,they are obviously sheep tracks" said the third.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

[Mossdog]

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?


Nobody knows!

[mr brightside]

Man meets a genie after getting lost at a well marked fell race, the genie offers him 3 wishes, but on the basis that his wife gets double what he gets. Guy had discarded his map shortly after the start to save weight, so, not having the means to get back any time soon, accepts the genies offer. He states that his first wish shall be a pair of Oakley titanium triathlon sunglasses, the genie grants his wish and gives his wife 2 pairs. For his second wish he asks for a Bentley continental GT with a carbon tri bike rack on the boot, the genie grants his wish and his Mrs gets 2 cars. One wish left says the genie, do you want directions back to the race route? As a triathlete you clearly rely on taped barriers and paid marshals to repeat to you parrot fashion what you should be doing. No, says the man, as he unclips a gel from his gel belt and gets ready; for my third wish I want you to beat me half to death.

[mr brightside]

Just remember the little mechanical bike distance recorders with a little cog wheel on the end that clipped to your forks with a little spike on your spokes that hit the cog on every revolution? Click, click, click, click....
Or in some cases click.........click......
click...
As much fun as when the first thing you did when you got a car was go to buy a stick on rear windscreen demister and wire it dubiously to whatever live feed you could find in the rats nest of wires under the dashboard.

My granddad's old Carlton tourer had one of those. My aim was always to see how rapidly I could make it click.

[mr brightside]

Plusnet

[Llani Boy]

I don't like my hands.

That's why I keep them at arms length!

[Mossdog]

What do cowboys pay for marsupials?

A buckaroo !!!

[Mossdog]

I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is - I stand corrected...