Today's bollock(s)-scratching

[L.F.F.]

A poem incorporating bollock scratching, now there is a thought!

I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

[Martyn P]

I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

I wouldn't think so Josh. He's a fine craftsman with words himself

[Martyn P]

I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

[L.F.F.]

I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

That's the ticket.

Bollocks poetry at its best!

[Derby Tup]

I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

Sure this isn't ripped off from some super-rare Northern Soul tune Martyn? :closed:

[Martyn P]

Sure this isn't ripped off from some super-rare Northern Soul tune Martyn? :closed:

No, all my own work

[protodoc]

Surely, "**ahem, cough**" being a doctor and all, it's not a scratch when sorting itchy bollocks, it's more of a "roll and pinch"

[Martyn P]

Surely, "**ahem, cough**" being a doctor and all, it's not a scratch when sorting itchy bollocks, it's more of a "roll and pinch"

Well, I'll have to defer to you on that one. Can we claim artistic licence???

[Wheeze]

Indeed. Employing a traditional ungual/digital scrape is likely to produce excessive puckering, follicular ensnarement and gonadal ecchymosis of a most lachrymosal potential. Therefore the action is more one of testicular realignment and scrotal massage to relieve the pruritic sensory overload.

[Derby Tup]

Indeed. Employing a traditional ungual/digital scrape is likely to produce excessive puckering, follicular ensnarement and gonadal ecchymosis of a most lachrymosal potential. Therefore the action is more one of testicular realignment and scrotal massage to relieve the pruritic sensory overload.

aka 'a game of pocket billiards'?