Today's bollock(s)-scratching

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freckle

A poem incorporating bollock scratching, now there is a thought!

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I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by L.F.F.

I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

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I wouldn't think so Josh. He's a fine craftsman with words himself :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by L.F.F.

I scratched my bollocks in a crowd
I scratched them high o’er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
And hidden there, beneath the trees,
Was a bollock scratching Monsieur Breeze

Just a first draft. Hope Mr Breeze isn't offended.

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I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Martyn P

I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

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That's the ticket.

Bollocks poetry at its best! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Martyn P

I ran lonely o'er fell and dale,
Scratching nads and desiring ale,
Happened 'pon a country inn,
Scratched once more and ran straight in.
Ordered beer but was refused,
Landlord said, his face suffused,
"My lad I'm sorry, no ale for you -
scratching bollocks will never do"

This is a first draft too. I'll work on it.

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Sure this isn't ripped off from some super-rare Northern Soul tune Martyn? :closed:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Derby Tup

Sure this isn't ripped off from some super-rare Northern Soul tune Martyn? :closed:

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No, all my own work :D

Surely, "**ahem, cough**" being a doctor and all, it's not a scratch when sorting itchy bollocks, it's more of a "roll and pinch"

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Originally Posted by protodoc

Surely, "**ahem, cough**" being a doctor and all, it's not a scratch when sorting itchy bollocks, it's more of a "roll and pinch"

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Well, I'll have to defer to you on that one. Can we claim artistic licence???

Indeed. Employing a traditional ungual/digital scrape is likely to produce excessive puckering, follicular ensnarement and gonadal ecchymosis of a most lachrymosal potential. Therefore the action is more one of testicular realignment and scrotal massage to relieve the pruritic sensory overload.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wheeze

Indeed. Employing a traditional ungual/digital scrape is likely to produce excessive puckering, follicular ensnarement and gonadal ecchymosis of a most lachrymosal potential. Therefore the action is more one of testicular realignment and scrotal massage to relieve the pruritic sensory overload.

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aka 'a game of pocket billiards'?