Nerd Test
1. A friend opens a magazine full of scantily-clad members of your preferred sex. Do you:
A. Openly Ogle.
B. Act Non-Chalant.
C. Comment "Gee, that's got to be at least 400 dpi, colour!"
D. Slip the hand down the pants for a bit of good, old-fashioned executive relief.
2. You're at a party. Someone comes over and asks you your star sign. You:
A. Tell them to bugger off.
B. Lay them one in the groin, then tell them to bugger off.
C. I don't go to parties.
D. I don't get invited to parties.
3. You're at the head of a large queue in front of a cash-register in a large department store. The register gives a >beep< and stops dead. You:
A. Wait patiently.
B. Plant all the stuff you were going to buy in a nearby baby carriage and call the store detective (to while away the time).
C. Break out your ever-present C64 notebook and try to debug the thing.
D. I don't know.
4. You're shopping for some personal hygiene equipment when the chemist runs up saying the prescription database on his 386 is corrupt. You:
A. What's a prescription database?
B. What's a 386?
C. What's personal hygenie?
D. What was the question again?
5. A friend wants to borrow a record off you. You
A. Lend it out, and tell them it's a boomerang.
B. Tell them to go buy it.
C. Consult the database to see that status of the record concerned
D. Sell it to them for a beer.
6. You'd most like to meet:
A. The person who wrote "Gulag Acapeligo"
B. The person who wrote "War and Peace"
C. The person who wrote MSDOS
D. A person who can write
7. You win a "Grocery-Grab" at a local supermarket. You've got one minute to pack a cart with as much stuff as you can. You start:
A. In the Liquor Section
B. In the Confectionary Lane
C. At the Pencil Bar
D. At the cash register
8. You've been hit by a car and your life flashes before your eyes. The thing you remember most vividly is:
A. Your Mother's voice as a child
B. Your first Love
C. The Ascii table.
D. The tire pressure was maybe a little too high
9. You get to compete on blind date. You have one statement to change the choosers mind about you. You say:
A. I've got a 12 inch tounge
B. I can go all night
C. I'VE GOT A 386SX with 64K Ram Cache
D. I've killed 5 people
10. You feel naked without your:
A. Electric Guitar
B. Wallet
C. VT100 reference guide
D. Axe
11. You see someone standing on a ledge, about to jump. You can save them if you say the right thing. You say:
A. I know things are bad, but do you want to talk about it?
B. I feel you just need someone to talk to
C. Want to come and play on my C64?
D. I bet you haven't got the guts.... . . . Oh, I see you did...
12. You told your best friend the first time you:
A. Had Sex
B. Had Oral Sex
C. Got a Ram expansion
D. Killed a cat.
13. No-one understands you like:
A. Your Mother
B. Your Father
C. Your PC
D. Your Parole Officer
14. For your 18th birthday you wanted:
A. A Car
B. A Shaver
C. A C64 Cassette Drive
D. Some Piano Wire, and the Neigbours Cat
Scoring:
Mostly A's: You're normal. Boring Boring Boring. You're the sort of person who'll justy fritter their way thru life enjoying themselves and having a good time. Shame on you!
Mostly B's: You're mostly normal. Nothing a little ECT can't clear away in any case. You mostly come into the "Mostly A's" above.
Mostly C's: Geek Alert! Break out the pocket protector! With a set of horn rims and a pocket calculator, you're ready for Revenge Part #72. You can be the person that gets beat up all the time.
Mostly D's: So you're a socipath; But that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Just keep taking the Lithium and everything'll be fine.
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