Given the current concerns about proper parenting expressed by Gordon, David and the other one. I have tried not to expose my 12 year old daughter to foul and disgusting language (which she thinks is great as she gets out of going to fell races). Therefore I have started to to refer to the bag I carry my vittals and Fell Runner magazine (so I can read the trail running articles when I want to lose the will to live ) as my man bag rather than my bum bag. However she has now reported me to social services for sexism and she is being moved to live with a same sex family in Hebden Bridge.

Can anyone advise me on what the politically correct title for this piece of kit should be?