Hello Beeb
Positive thinking is what you need to do now.
You did 4 years of a Phd, that in itself you should reward yourself, not get angry with yourself. You did 4 years more than i could do, and you did that on your own.
Losing a partner, your not saying how so i can only assume its an end relationship, your get stronger from this and will eventually like yourself again, and find someone else.
Well done on going for a run, i just went for a walk with painful shins but glad i did, it felt good being outside in the sun.
Having your health is a good thing, you have your running too, and what i read you have friends and family, so in all you have alot going for you.
And if you can fix that tap that Lola mentions then you can fix mine cos its driving me nuts!