Gas man knocks on house door, little boy answers wearing lipstick, knee high boots, stockings, suspenders and smoking a spliff.
Gas man says "Is your mum in, son?"
Little boy replies "Does it f******* look like it?"
Gas man knocks on house door, little boy answers wearing lipstick, knee high boots, stockings, suspenders and smoking a spliff.
Gas man says "Is your mum in, son?"
Little boy replies "Does it f******* look like it?"
Was just wondering if this is a true life story? Were you that little boy fishbulb?????
I've been getting earache of my other half, she says i dont spend enough time with her and that i spend too much time out running and watching sport on the telly.
Anyway i booked a table for 2 last night at 8.00 to try and patch things up. By 9.00 things were even worse. She hadn't even potted a single f**king red
hedgehog shows his little son how to cross a road safely at night by lining himself up inbetween the headlights of the car. the car wheels miss and the car passes straight over. First time his son tried it, SPLAT his son was flattened!! "oh F**K," said his dad" forgot the mention robin reliants".
haha.
This man and woman were making love when the woman cried out "Oh my God! I hear my husband coming! You must get out of here fast! Grab your clothes and jump out the window!" The man hurriedly jumped out the window and fell into some bushes. As luck would have it, it started to rain. He sat there, wondering what he was going to do when a bunch of joggers happened to jog by. The man quickly jumped up and joined the joggers. As he was running along with the rest of the joggers, one asked him "Do you always run in the nude?" The man answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running." Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?" The man answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home." Then another runner asked "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Well," he answered, "only when it's raining."
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
-To get away from the sound.
This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"