Hello,
I thought I'd log on and say thank you for all your help. I submitted my PhD this morning after a long break (pretty much from life as a whole) and then returning to it on my terms. It's not great but I did it and feel less of a complete failure. Thanks for sorting me out when I needed it.
Well done re your PhD beeb! Good to hear you're okay
Seconded! Top marks beebOriginally Posted by Derby Tup
Well done re your PhD beeb! Good to hear you're okay
Hills and Guinness!
Well done beeb
In the last phase of my MSc, so HUGE applause and much cheering to you...I feel (some of) your pain.
Heroic, seriously.
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.......
Hi Beeb, i've been reading this thread with some interest and your situation strikes a chord with me as it has done with others. I'd like to say that i admire your courage for starting this thread, nobody who knows me has much idea of what's been going on in my head over the past few years and due to my nature of bottling stuff up they never will.
I wasn't sure whether to send you a PM or to post on the thread, but in view of your boldness to speak so openly i'll do the same. I had a bit of a headf**k period which began around 4 years ago and seems to be beginning to let up a bit recently although it does have spikes and troughs and this could easily be a trough. It was kicked off by my realisation that the person who i'm in love with will never feel the same about me, and i'll have to spend the rest of my life watching her live the life that i want to be living with her if you see what i mean. I feel as though i'm going to be tortured by my own failure to be desirable enough for her for ever and ever. I went through successive stages of sitting at work staring into open space wondering if my air rifle is powerful enough to finish me off, thinking if i placed the muzzle on my temple and angled the barrel slightly upwards would it do the trick? Do i have the balls to leave a note explaining things? course not, what would people think? best to keep it quiet.
The girl i'm referring to is one of my best mates and it was the thought of her learning of my demise that stopped me from doing it, that and St John's Wort which i can reccommend as it seems to take just enough of the edge off to keep you positive enough. It's pretty much been a lifeline for me and i'll never be without a bottle conveniently hidden in my drawer, i hide all my sh*t you see, not like you who has the guts to ask for help; i really admire you beeb, really. I'll have to go now cos i'm cold, my hands are shaking and i can't type properly.
I'd also like to say that this isn't a cry for help but a message to you that you AREN'T alone and things WILL pick up for you.
Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent
Oh and if you're ever at a race and you want to chat i'm usually the only person there who races in black tracksters or baggy traccy bottoms, i get cold legs you see!
Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent
Hang in there Mr B.
You'll never get the girl if you check out and perhaps there's someone else who'll feel the same way about you..............but you have to stay around to find out.
Best of!
K.
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.......
Nah that's the problem you see, there won't be a happy ending for this and it's dealing with that truth that's the problem. There's no point clinging onto false hopes or kidding myself, just have to deal with it.
Luke Appleyard (Wharfedale)- quick on the dissent
Mr Brightside
Sounds like things are really difficult for you currently. Please try to get some help. There is help out there.
Ive been there and I know for sure its not an easy path but believe me It will and does get better.
Hope it does work out for you
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