Today's poet

[Old Whippet]

Good morning all! not long now till the madness abates..../ xmas is upon us.....

X Runner thank you for posting that link....i hold my hands up and say that i am not a poltical animal in any way shape or form, so will abstain from commenting on this poem!

here is a well written poem from "Being Alive" the anthology

Misgivings
William Matthews

"Perhaps you'll tire of me," muses
my love, although she's like a great city
to me, or a park that finds new
ways to wear each flounce of light
and investiture of weather.
Soil doesn't tire of rain, I think,

but I know what she fears: plans warp,
planes explode, topsoil gets peeled away
by floods. And worse than what we can't
control is what we could; those drab
scuttled marriages we shed so
gratefully may auger we're on our owns

for good reason. "Hi, honey," chirps Dread
when I come through the door; "you're home."
Experience is a great teacher
of the value of experience,
its claustrophobic prudence,
its gloomy name-the-disasters-

in-advance charisma. Listen,
my wary one, it's far too late
to unlove each other. Instead let's cook
something elaborate and not
invite anyone to share it but eat it
all up very very slowly.

Now here's a poem I'd like to have written! It is tussling with a couple of others for position as my new favourite.

[Old Whippet]

I haven't got the clipping from the paper at the mo, bas ically it was comparing Tony Blair to a poodle when he was in the presence of Dubya i'll put it up tomorrow but for now taraa a bit.

Just read it. I've been aware of Armitage, but not his work til the past couple of weeks. I enjoyed this. Though I would like to see something more caustic in relation to Blair and Iraq. Perhaps I could commission John Cooper Clarke to do the honours.

Or maybe just this one!

Apologies to the offendable.

TWAT by John Cooper Clarke

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
TWAT.

[Derby Tup]

One of my very fave JCC poems. Beasley Street takes some beating mind

[Harry H Howgill]

My laptop is having a major wobble, so if I don't get on again beforehand then have a great Christmas all and I'll catch up soon.

Thank you for all the
poems found, written, shared
It has been lovely

Harry
x

[Derby Tup]

The Bard of Salford
caustic wit in drainpipe suit
not like dear Pablo

[Derby Tup]

My laptop is having a major wobble, so if I don't get on again beforehand then have a great Christmas all and I'll catch up soon.

Thank you for all the
poems found, written, shared
It has been lovely

Harry
x

Merry Christmas Harry H!

Are you doing Wansfell race? I might be there and will ask around if I go

[freckle]

The Bard of Salford
caustic wit in drainpipe suit
not like dear Pablo

Class DT! Happy Xmas HHH...i expect masterpieces from you when you get back!...

[XRunner]

Here is an appropiate poem for all man-flu sufferers:

MAN FLU

Go hang yourself, you old M.D,!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
In not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honoured system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

(Ogden Nash)

[Old Whippet]

Spot on X-runner. I love this! Funnily enough i was chuckling at some other ogden Nash poems last night - for the 1st time in years.
here he manages to express what no lass could ever understand.... the full extent of our terrible suffering!

[freckle]

just found a gorgeous reading of one of pabulo neruda's poem....click on the link then scroll down to the neruda box...think it might be madonna reading it...! but don't let that prejudice you!

http://www.beautifulmadonna.com/download/audio.html

sigh.............................................. ..