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Thread: Today's Joke

  1. #131
    Master Witton Park's Avatar
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    Re: Todays Joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Welsh Harrier View Post
    What's the difference between a duck?
    They both have 2 legs.

  2. #132
    Master
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    Re: Todays Joke

    Thanks WP!

  3. #133
    Master
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    Re: Todays Joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Witton Park View Post
    They both have 2 legs.
    I remember it as "One of their legs are both the same"

  4. #134
    Master
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    Re: Todays Joke

    Johnny's farm trip:

    Attachment 4049

  5. #135
    Senior Member
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    edge hill
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    Re: Todays Joke

    this rooney baiting has gone too far . saw a bloke outside old trafford burning effigys of him . oh hang on it was a baked spud van !

  6. #136
    Senior Member
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    Re: Todays Joke

    What's pink and fluffy?




    Pink fluff

  7. #137
    Senior Member
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    Body in Leeds. Heart in Derby
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    Re: Todays Joke

    This bloke came up to me last night and started throwing cheese, milk and yoghurt at me,

    I said to Mrs Superfly "How very dare he?"

    Attachment 4119

  8. #138

    Re: Todays Joke

    He Said To Me!



    He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?






    He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    I said .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but
    fart





    He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    I said to him . .....
    Turn sideways and look in the mirror!





    He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    I said to him ... . They don't have time.







    He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.







    He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
    I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.





    He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
    I said. . .. A widow.





    He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
    I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
    Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.






  9. #139
    Master
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    Oct 2007
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    Re: Todays Joke

    A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over and the second country boy starts (rhymes with flicking) his (rhymes with Hut). The women watches these two go at it and is grossed out. She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his overalls back up and says to the other, "You're right Leroy, that hind-lick maneuver works like a charm."

  10. #140
    Master
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    LEEDS
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    6,045

    Re: Todays Joke

    Got offered a Job as a banker in Seoul
    Had to turn it down though as I thought that Korea was wrong for me

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