Now that is a funny joke Wheeze:thumbup:Originally Posted by Wheeze
15 men in white shirts pretending to be a rugby team.
Now that is a funny joke Wheeze:thumbup:15 men in white shirts pretending to be a rugby team.
Paul McCartney is already 'pissed off' with his new wife!!
Apparently she is spending twice as much on new shoes as his last one ever did!!
His last wife had a plane as part of her divorce settlement.... and a ladyshave for the other leg!
Attachment 5219:thumbup:
Carlos Tevez has said that if he gets the sack from Manchester City he is going to open up a chain of sandwich shops, they will be called.....................
..............................SUBNOWAY:thumbup:
Guardian Angel
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice,
- "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted,
- "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
- "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
- "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
- "Oh yeah?" the man asked, "And where were you when I got married?"
For those of you affected by the result of the Man U Man C game last week, there is a helpline to ring... just dial 01 6-1 6-1 6-1!
The Pope ...
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There’s no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I’m the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn’t tell me..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ...Never heard of it... Wait, I’ll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven’s Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There’s a dude standing outside who claims he’s your representative on earth."
God: "I don’t have a representative on earth, not that I know of... Wait, I’ll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes father, what’s up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I’ll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he’s laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I’ve started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
Order now for Christmas... The new radio1 Xmas CD with the cover versions you never thought you'd hear:
Susan Boyle - Dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me;
Stevie Wonder - I can see clearly now;
John Terry - Ebony & Ivory
Katie Price - like a Virgin;
Rihanna - hit me baby one more time;
Michael Jackson - the drugs don't work;
Joseph Fritzl - love shack;
Stephen Hawking - Im still standing!l
A policeman came up to me and sent his sniffer dog into my car.
'Well well, my dog tells me you've been on drugs,' the copper said.
'I know, I heard him talking as well you know,' *
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