Today's Joke

[Vegan Runner]

You forgot that nine members will argue that, no matter how quick that young, Spanish runner can change a light bulb, he'll never change it better than Billy Bland.

[Tussockface]

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
One to move it to the lighting section
Two to argue, then move it to the electrical section
Seven to point out spelling/ grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
Five to flame the spell checkers
Three to correct spelling/ grammar flames
Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another six to condemn those six as stupid
Two industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
Fifteen know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
Nineteen to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
Eleven to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
Thirty-six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs
Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "me too"
Two to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
Five to say, "Didn't we go through this already a few months ago?"
Nine to say, "Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
One forum lurker to respond to the original post eight months from now and start it all over again

I think you'll find that the light bulb has always been perfectly acceptable, and if it was good enough thirty years ago I really can't see why it needs changing now.

[Tussockface]

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
One to move it to the lighting section
Two to argue, then move it to the electrical section
Seven to point out spelling/ grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
Five to flame the spell checkers
Three to correct spelling/ grammar flames
Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another six to condemn those six as stupid
Two industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
Fifteen know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
Nineteen to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
Eleven to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
Thirty-six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs
Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "me too"
Two to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
Five to say, "Didn't we go through this already a few months ago?"
Nine to say, "Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
One forum lurker to respond to the original post eight months from now and start it all over again

What Category is this light bulb, anyway?

[molehill]

Light bulbs? Spawn of the Devil, haven't had one of them in our house for 25 years.

[Don't fear the sweeper]

How many G4S security staff does it take to change a light bulb????

6 soldiers and a policeman.

[Splatcher]

How many G4S security staff does it take to change a light bulb????

6 soldiers and a policeman.

Is the policeman there to hit the old bulb with his baton?

[Witton Park]

I went to a private zoo the other day. There was only one animal, a dog. It was a shih-tzu

[Multiterrainer]

I've just taken part in the suntanning Olympics.....I got Bronze!

[Swoop]

I only seem to be able to recognize 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why!

[Leeds Rhino]

I only seem to be able to recognize 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why!

Bloody hell Swoop stop it ! My friend has a brake fluid addiction ,tells me he can stop anytime he wants to though.