Good on you Trev
However I also believe that 50% is a good deal.My first wife had taken loans out against me etc.
In the end it cost me £65000 and the solicitor said "well do you think it was worth it?"
Seeing sense I replied Yes it was worth every penny
You have my sympathy for everything. Only comment I would make is that with your wife/ex also accessing the forum some things are best kept privateOriginally Posted by Stagger
All the best and hope it all works out for all concerned
Loads going on in my head, that's what depression does.
You might be right on reflection.
Heyho you still can't alter the truth.
If she read's it I've said and done nothing wrong to upset or wind up anyone.
Depression is about sharing problem's and talking things through.
I'm on max dose tablets and regular counselling.
Life is extremely tough at the moment and sharing and receiving advice is always welcome.
I thank all who take time to read or reply to this thread.
Well, after 2 full weekends cleaning my home since moving back in from rented accommodation.(not up to my or sons standards)
I now find myself visiting hospital for sons girlfriend who was rushed in with fits and lost of speech and paralysed. After spinal fluid was tested and an mri scan it was discovered she's got encephalitis.
That was a scary couple of days. Things will start picking up soon but with work and looking after a house and family and with a divorce in the background life is tough and running none existent.
Roll on next year.
Stagger
I assume by counselling the brand/type is CBT? being a battler is great, but as you will know through CBT, putting energy into how things 'must be' only serves to make a feeling of injustice stronger and as a consequence adds to the depression. A prominent behaviourist by the name of Albert Ellis, in his brand of CBT called rational Emotive therapy, coined a well termed phrase of 'Mustabation'. By this he references the phenomena by which humans who require something or an outcome to be in a particular way, are setting themselves up for gross disappointment if the outcome is different. As an alternative Ellis advocates phrases and thinking along the lines of, "It would be nice", OR " This is what I would ideally like". In other words lessen the internal demand and avoid the disappointment.
CBT works on principles of thoughts precede feelings. By controlling those thoughts or restructuring them to be more moderate we end up being kinder to ourselves and hence begin to reverse the negative processes that cycle into low mood and depression.
perhaps planning on how you would build your future on a 50/50 split (even if its not really what you want) would be a good approach as others above have said.
The health warning to the above is I am not a CBT therapist, but have been a manager of IAPT and CBT services in primary and secondary MH services and the principles of CBT do work.
Thankyou, there I some great points which I will take to my next season.
Much appreciated.
Haven't forgotten you, Stagger - how are things going?
Had a visit from the black dog again on sunday. Not getting out early doors on sundays (only happens on sundays) can transport me back to the bad days when all my mates started settling down with gals and stopped doing things outdoors. I feel anxious and isolated for no apparent or current reason, and this can let the black dog back in. It worsened as lunchtime approached and there was no going back, even a walk round my favourite reservoir could not loosen the grip the black dog's jaws had on my throat. Every concievable negative emotion hit me like an express train, i was in the teeth of a force 9. You have to try hard not to implode and treat it as a war of attrition. My brain feels damaged and is taking its time to recuperate, the whole episode had no logic or reason to it. Sometimes you get caught out, you forget that once the black dog has had a taste of you it never leaves you, it just keeps following at a distance waiting for you to let your guard down. I'm going to be chatting to a few people in the near future about coping mechanisms and how to harness my subconscious mind to the task of defeating the black dog. All of this is the product of a part of my mind i currently have no control over; i think there are new techniques that can be used to tap into its potential. I've been mauled these past few days, but i'm stepping it up a gear and taking the fight to the dog.
Sorry to hear that you are suffering this, Mr B; but your last few sentences at least show that you are facing this problem with the same determination that you seem to apply to your numerous running injuries. I imagine that depression will be a tougher nut to crack than tendon or muscle problems, and it can be particularly tough if you are living alone, but don't ever give up!
Wishing you success in defeating this one.
Cheers Anthony, i've been on and off for nearly 12yrs now, self-help has gotten me as far as it can really, the next step is professional assistance. It's frightening how acute it can get so quickly, some therapy and coping techniques should give me a boost, but no drugs- none at all.
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