Sometimes it's ourselves that don't allow us to move on, i have this problem a lot. It's natural for most of us to question reality, but a lot of us argue with it, and it costs us dearly. "Why am i not better looking", "This person has cancelled a commitment they made to me and this means they don't respect me", "i hate the way my body looks these days". To argue with reality is about as useful as trying to teach a cat to bark, the cat will just look up and meow at you every time.Originally Posted by Stagger
At the top of a piece of paper write a short statement such as the ones above that is bothering you, dwell on it and think how it makes you feel. Write down how it makes you feel, think of how much of your life is built around this statement. Ask yourself whether you can see a reason to drop this belief, and commit it to paper. Consider who you would be if you weren't attatching to this statement, think of the person who you would want to be without the statement and write it all down. Finally ask yourself if you can think of a stress-free reason to hang onto the statement; the answer will always be no.
You can't actually cast out a stressful thought forcefully, but through this process you can allow your mind to realise that the thought is causing terrible pain. When you realise this your mind lets go of the thought itself.
Once you have accepted you are attatching to something that is harming you, you can turn the statement around so it projects inwardly at yourself and reflect on any significance you observe. For example:
"Jane doesn't respect me because she cancelled our date"
"I don't respect the fact that Jane had to cancel our date"
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