Does anyone have any runner pics from friday? I'm preparing a report to circulate at work.

Just to prove to Tindersticks that he's not the only one who can waffle here's my effort:

Wansfell Pike Race 2019

Venue- Ambleside, Lake District
Course- 2.1m/3.2km length, 1330'/405m climb
Record- 18.56, Kenny Stuart, 1984
Conditions- Low cloud, drizzle, 8 deg.c

Checkpoints: Wansfell Pike summit

1st male- 20.47
1st female- 22.54 (11/181)
My time- 26.42, new PB (51/181)

The Sulzer in Motion Ninja Fell Racing Team braved the tourist trail over Christmas to line up for a record turnout (181) Wansfell Pike race. This is quite a good race to get stuck into if you think you might be any good at fell running; the minimum age to enter is 14 and it's in the heart of England's biggest fell running hotspot, the Lake District. The race begins at the bottom of Stockghyll Lane, but finishes further up at the college with a visit to the summit of the Pike in between.

It's very hard to get a good start here because everyone sets off at full speed and it's very narrow. I've been tripped here before, and it's like being decked in a Boxing Day sofa shopping stampede; you're better off safe than sorry. My race got off to a painful start when I was slapped in the eye by a tree branch that sprung off the shoulder of the person in front of me, but there was no permanent damage done. I'd done my homework this year and was hoping to avoid the painful and calamitous events of previous encounters with this hill. The biggest mistake you can make here, and the one I normally make here, is to underestimate or underprepare for the lung busting climb. You find that when you want to stand up to start back down, that you've got the legs of a jellyfish; like Shakin' Stevens on roller skates, and you definitely ain't got time to fix the shingles as you plummet off the craggy edge into the jaws of hell.

Predictably, the first runner to the turn was a 14 year old boy, who it later turned out had to pull out of the race with a stitch. However, he would have been caught, because juniors lack the descending skills of seniors. A very silly person overtook me at the checkpoint funnel which confused the marshals and cost us a few seconds, but overall my legs were feeling quite good. It was business as usual as we dropped off the summit buttress into the confusing maze of crags and sheep trods that comprise the upper reaches of the descent. The guy in front of me slipped straight on his arse and set off down the hill flat on his back, much to my amusement; an inescapable consequence of worn out shoes. I tried to navigate through the crags that separate the upward and downward routes, but screwed it up and almost fell off a small cliff. A wayward puff of wind would have forced me into jumping for it. By the time I hit the lane I’d picked up about 8 places and thankfully lost a chap behind me who was heaving and groaning like he needed the toilet very badly; I credit my swift negotiation of the stream bogs to having a dire need to get away from him, it was a bit like being chased off a hill by Chewbacca. I jumped the cattle grid 50yds from the finish because it secures your place and keeps any chasers off your tail; everyone else seems to go round it for some reason. I refused the free mince pies afterwards mainly because I can't stand them, with anything, hot or cold, they're plain awful; I splashed out on zesty Lakeland craft pale ales from the booze shop instead. Cheers!