jayne's diary

[the story so far]

Okay Okay you had planned it she told herself as she bumbled down the lane with her trainers on. 5.00am and not a soul about, she comforted her guilty mind by thinking about the note she had left David, anyway if she was lucky he wouldn't rise until about nine and she would be back complete with his morning paper. The air was still and it was good to be back running after two days off.
After briskly trotting through the town she ambled down the lane past the big lake with the mountains in the distance towering high above the road. Two miles in and she met four heavily laden walkers complete with packs and maps and all kinds of various equipment that left her wondering how they managed to stand up let alone walk.
Where are the best paths she enquired to the old man who seemed to be head walker out of the four, err thans bloody loads he said , oh well ive nver been here before and i dont want to get lost.
Fifteen minutes later after the walkers had drawn her a makeshift map she was heading up a steep part of the path, the running had stopped about 100yds back and she was exhausted, god im wheezing like a donkey i must be ill, bugger this and started her walk back down, the walkers all retired by the look of them passed her and said hello, even asking her if she had made the top.
A white lie never hurt anyone, but telling four eldery walkers that she had run to the top when she clearly had not was well just silly.
As she collected the morning paper it was still playing on her mind, the old dears were not even breaking sweat and they was carrying those heavy packs, what was there secret, damm she was 25yrs younger than them for gods sake.
David's face said it all, i know where you have been, dont worry ive ordered you your breakfast he laughed, she kissed him on the cheek and they decided to push the boat out and go shopping in town and have a pub lunch later.
Thats better she thought, he is back in a good mood and we are going shopping.

[the story so far]

God we have only been in two shops and he is already complaining of hunger and moaning about how many clothes i already own, maybe i will treat him tonight if he is a good lad.
This shopping disorder was jayne's downfall in life, it could be new skirts, tops, shoes, or even a new bike, but when she had got the urge she just had to indulge, there could be worse things in life she thought as David gave her that for gods sake hurry up look woman.
Four hours had been enough and she decided on one last shop for good measure, the running shop had been spotted on the morning run and if she could it would have been first shop of the day but not this day, she didnt want to push David over the edge.
Not more running shoes David bleeted, look she replied, ive two pairs that are on there last miles. Yeah whatever i will wait outside came the reply
The shop asistant was very helpfull, the usual patter but he was very handsome and seemed like a mine of info, she even got him to jot a few local routes down. You wont do much good in those shoes around here he laughed, she semed puzzled , why not what do you recommend then.
Twenty more minutes ticked by and the inevitable purchase of another pair of running shoes followed. As she exited the shop David scowled, just how many do you need jayne. Look David these shoes are special for the hills.
Why are they special they look like a crap pair of slippers to me.
Oh shut up she snapped, they are special, fell shoes if you must know.
David rolled his eyes and thought about all the other special running shoes over the last few years that jayne had purchased

[the story so far]

The fell shoes felt very tight and she worried about blisters as she always did with news shoes, the process of bedding them in was about to start, it was three o clock and she had barely had them for four hours, she was just in the process of re tying her laces when David kissed her on the neck, it felt good but he would have to wait until her run was over, frolicking about on a saturday afternoon was not on her mind right now, running was.
It was a familiar story for David he thought as she plodded out the door for the second time in the day. He often wondered if she ever noticed him at times and he reminded himself of all the times when jayne had left him to go to just another race or go on another run.
Now she had taken it to a new level, they had only been on holiday for a day or so and her training was even taking over here, he told himself he would be cross wth her when she got back.
Two hours past and Jayne pounced back through the door and beamed wow David the fell shoes are fantastic, he frowned and just said yeah okay love and at that moment she walked off and went for a shower.
He sat there for a few minutes like a scolded cat.
Jayne re appeared after her shower complete with that trademark i love you eyes, his smile was re installed, it was time for an early night , in fact a few moments later they giggled like a pair of teenagers and promptly turned out the light

[the story so far]

The red fell shoes now felt a little tight as she put them on ready for the initial run but that didnt deter jayn'e as she left the misty fell bed and breakfast and headed for the fellside. She was soon out of breath again and wondered if she might never manage more than afew hundred yards at a time.
Walk, stagger, gasp, walk, gasp, it was hard work but the views came very fast and made the graft for height worthwhile, she could see three people in the distance, they got closer, she stopped , faster they came, runners for sure they must be and within a few seconds the now familiar shout of dont worry you will soon reach the top came and went as they sped by.
Huh she thought it will take me ages to get to the top of this one, but just then a slower runner approached, she smiled at him and he stopped.
Nearly finished my run, have you seen any others pass by , yes jayne replied only a couple of minutes ago. The man then proceeded to tell her that they had been out looking at the route of wednesday nights crinkly rocks fell race and that she would be most welcome to come along and for a couple of quid entry she would have a good laugh if nothing else.
Oh i dont think id be fit enough she said, nonsense he replied, be at the pub wed night and you will be fine.
I might do then not fully commiting herself.
The man continued on his way and she carried on hers and eventually reached the trig point and sat down for a breather.
The view was fantastic and she smiled to herself and thought maybe i might just enter that race after all but she couldn't stop thinking of how nice looking the man was, he had taken his shirt off and she was sure he had noticed her blushing as they chatted.

[Alf Tupper]

I didn't realise this was a competition for dullest entry of the year.

[daz h]

I didn't realise this was a competition for dullest entry of the year.

what chaper does jayne have sex

[david]

There'll be trouble if that bitch Jayne dumps me for a young, fit fell runner after all the years I've spent washing her smelly running kit .

[stevefoster]

what chapter does jayne have sex

You should know, daz

[emmilou]

I didn't realise this was a competition for dullest entry of the year.

I'm really enjoying it - you lot have gone an ruined it now

[Mark Smith]

ST's diary

Read Jayne's diary, well tried to get past the inpenetrable masses of text, only to get three lines in and give up. Found it harder to complete than any fell run.

All paint in house already dry so nothing doing there.

Fell asleep through utter tedium.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Woke having dreamt that Jayne was mutilated by a hippo with a low boredom threshold and a warped sense of justice when it comes to prose.

Felt much better, but wary of hippos now.