My stepson (also a Matthew) came home from school (more likely truant) one day, aged 16, and said "I'm joining the army". This was just as well, because there was no more room for 2 x Matthews in the same house .

Started in junior leaders and found he wasn't very tough after all , but survived and now retires in two years, quite high ranking.

Put all the little b******s in the forces - that's what I say .
and no I don't read the Daily Mail.