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Thread: Today's poet

  1. #6321
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    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by Chubbs View Post
    Extremely touching Hes.
    Thanks for that Chubbs.

    I like bits of it and am glad that you found it touching but I am also slightly disappointed that on rereading it it isn't quite how I intended. In my mind it was going to be profound and I had high hopes for the idea but, on rereading, it seems a bit twee and I wonder if the rhyming ruined it. The problem is that I haven't totally got my head round how to explain the idea so to actually write a poem about it was probably a bit ambitious. Still, you have to start somewhere don't you? I liked your poem very much and you use rhyme so maybe it isn't that.

  2. #6322
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    Re: Today's poet

    Too many mochas
    Caffiene levels way to high
    No land of nod yet

  3. #6323
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    Re: Today's poet

    Along the Track

    THE track has led me out beyond the town
    To follow day across the waning fields,
    The crisping weeds and wastes of tender brown.
    On either side the feathered tops are high,
    A tracery of broken arabesques
    Upon the sullen crimson of the sky.
    Into the west the narrowing rails are sped.
    They cut the crayon softness of the dusk
    With thin converging gleams of bloody red.


    Nora Mary French

  4. #6324
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    Re: Today's poet

    Between Two Rains

    IT IS a silver space between two rains;
    The lulling storm has given to the day
    An hour of windless air and riven grey;
    The world is drained of color; light remains.
    Beyond the curving shore a gull complains;
    Unceasing , on the bastions of the bay,
    With gleam of shields and veer of vaporing spray
    The long seas fall, the grey tide wars and wanes.


    It is a silver space between two rains:
    A mood too sweet for tears, for joy too pale—
    What stress has swept or nears us, thou and I?
    This hour a mist of light is on the plains,
    And seaward fares again with litten sail
    Our laden ship of dreams adown the sky.

    Nora Mary French

  5. #6325
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    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by Hes View Post
    Thanks for that Chubbs.

    I like bits of it and am glad that you found it touching but I am also slightly disappointed that on rereading it it isn't quite how I intended. In my mind it was going to be profound and I had high hopes for the idea but, on rereading, it seems a bit twee and I wonder if the rhyming ruined it. The problem is that I haven't totally got my head round how to explain the idea so to actually write a poem about it was probably a bit ambitious. Still, you have to start somewhere don't you? I liked your poem very much and you use rhyme so maybe it isn't that.
    Loved the poem Hes

  6. #6326

    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by Chubbs View Post
    For freckle:

    Surfer of the land
    I run; trance-like but t'is no dream,
    o'er fell and moorland, undulating seas o' green.
    Launching from shore-like scree,
    wisps of grass lap at knee.
    Ripping fast through bracken breaks,
    fading stud marks in my wake.

    "I am surfer of this land!"

    Squall relentless stirs the swell,
    nature mocks this ne'er do well.
    Fortitude, a familiar trod,
    though at the mercy of thy God.
    Gale whips up, getting stronger,
    can't contain the pain much longer.
    Do you search for solace on a distant shore,
    or turn about to run once more?

    Chubbs.
    Chubbs this is soooooo good I really like it, lovely use of language to draw comparison between the sea and surfing and fell running, including the references to "ripping fast through bracken breaks" and "wisps of grass lap at the knee"...funnily enough last night i was talking about your metaphor to a dear friend and i was wondering if like surfing there are similar unwritten rules /an etiquette that has to be followed...what came to mind was when surfers make sure they don't "drop in" on someone else's wave...this is particularly important where i hail from when such folk have been waiting around in the icy waters of the north sea waiting to catch a wave...Mmmm, wonder if there is a paralell for fell runners?

    anyway I found this (your first??????) poem quite lovely, keep it up
    Last edited by freckle; 20-02-2010 at 11:52 AM.

  7. #6327

    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by Hes View Post
    Freckle's lovely poem about her daughter inspired me to have another bash at one I started a few weeks ago. I was thinking about how you can remember people from different times in your life and those thoughts often manifest themselves physically in your body. I have used Freckle's imagery in the second verse...hope that's ok?!....it resonated with me as I love it when babies curl their hands around your fingers and they have such amazing strength.

    Imprints

    We daily chisel memories
    that remain in flesh and bone
    as we sculpt each others bodies
    like masons carving stone.

    With a simple sleight of mind
    an invisible ring will linger
    the bliss of a child’s hand
    enclosed around a finger.

    Up my lower back
    warmth will slowly creep
    on the thought of his firm belly
    as he spooned me in his sleep.

    The child’s face I cannot see
    but I remember holding her hand,
    and still feel her chilly fingers
    as we walked along the sand.

    Two years since we parted
    my nape still senses the bite
    from a familiar hungry mouth
    on a passionate rainy night.

    And how can my arms forget
    as I embraced him with a sigh
    my father’s wasting body
    the day we hugged goodbye.
    Hes I found this really well constructed, in particular the first verse and deeply moving, thank you so much for posting it (by the way unfortunately didn't write the little poem i posted more is the pity!!!), i think you make such a good point about different types of memories in fact there is evidence now i think from experimental psychology discussing the different types of memory we have including those relating to the body. With children this is especially relevant as they don't acquire languauge for a while but immediately build up memories and associations or a "felt sense" of being held, carried etc.....i found your poem stimulating and though provoking.

    Looks like i missed a good one on the thread last night...

    Welcome back harry !!!!!!! I loved your haiku about the little boys getting excited by the snow! hope you can recharge your batteries this weekend, re AW i saw a video with joss naylor last night and in it was a bit ofthe anniversary waltz and i am very very scared!...i need some top training tips from yourself re managing hills!!! (hill reps? how many?)

    DT- i loved youre pork pie poem so funny! Herakles i see you have continued to be busy too, nice one!

    and Stolly....the boating was most memorable !

    have a nice day one and all......

  8. #6328
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    Re: Today's poet

    Freckle i've just seen a video of the AW and the first hill {Mountain is probably more accurate.} and if i make it up there surely the rest will be easy

  9. #6329
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    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by Herakles View Post
    Freckle i've just seen a video of the AW and the first hill {Mountain is probably more accurate.} and if i make it up there surely the rest will be easy
    That's the hardest climb of the race, you'll both get up it, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, the longest journey is completed taking the smallest steps, repeated, added together

  10. #6330

    Re: Today's poet

    Quote Originally Posted by merrylegs View Post
    That's the hardest climb of the race, you'll both get up it, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, the longest journey is completed taking the smallest steps, repeated, added together
    Aw thanks for the advice Merry, Herakles its good to know that you will be there too!

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