
Originally Posted by
Old Whippet
Heard this on the radio earlier - didn't realise that John Cooper Clarke's classic was a remake...
Bloody Orkney
Anonymous
This bloody town's a bloody cuss
No bloody trains, no bloody bus,
And no one cares for bloody us
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody roads are bloody bad,
The bloody folks are bloody mad,
They'd make the brightest bloody sad,
In bloody Orkney.
All bloody clouds, and bloody rains,
No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains,
The Council's got no bloody brains,
In bloody Orkney.
Everything's so bloody dear,
A bloody bob, for bloody beer,
And is it good? - no bloody fear,
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody 'flicks' are bloody old,
The bloody seats are bloody cold,
You can't get in for bloody gold
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody dances make you smile,
The bloody band is bloody vile,
It only cramps your bloody style,
In bloody Orkney.
No bloody sport, no bloody games,
No bloody fun, the bloody dames
Won't even give their bloody names
In bloody Orkney.
Best bloody place is bloody bed,
With bloody ice on bloody head,
You might as well be bloody dead,
In bloody Orkney
Now...Here's Johnny!
the ****ing cops are ****ing keen
to ****ing keep it ****ing clean
the ****ing chief's a ****ing swine
who ****ing draws a ****ing line
at ****ing fun and ****ing games
the ****ing kids he ****ing blames
are nowehere to be ****ing found
anywhere in chicken town
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the ****ing scene is ****ing sad
the ****ing news is ****ing bad
the ****ing weed is ****ing turf
the ****ing speed is ****ing surf
the ****ing folks are ****ing daft
don't make me ****ing laugh
it ****ing hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town
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the ****ing train is ****ing late
you ****ing wait you ****ing wait
you're ****ing lost and ****ing found
stuck in ****ing chicken town
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the ****ing view is ****ing vile
for ****ing miles and ****ing miles
the ****ing babies ****ing cry
the ****ing flowers ****ing die
the ****ing food is ****ing muck
the ****ing drains are ****ing ****ed
the colour scheme is ****ing brown
everywhere in chicken town
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the ****ing pubs are ****ing dull
the ****ing clubs are ****ing full
of ****ing girls and ****ing guys
with ****ing murder in their eyes
a ****ing bloke is ****ing stabbed
waiting for a ****ing cab
you ****ing stay at ****ing home
the ****ing neighbors ****ing moan
keep the ****ing racket down
this is ****ing chicken town
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the ****ing train is ****ing late
you ****ing wait you ****ing wait
you're ****ing lost and ****ing found
stuck in ****ing chicken town
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the ****ing pies are ****ing old
the ****ing chips are ****ing cold
the ****ing beer is ****ing flat
the ****ing flats have ****ing rats
the ****ing clocks are ****ing wrong
the ****ing days are ****ing long
it ****ing gets you ****ing down
evidently chicken town
I love them both!