"It's OK, He won't bite"

[Stolly]

Potential replys:
1) "Its OK. I don't kick" (whilst swinging leg at dog)
2) "I'm just a grumpy old git " (perhaps whilst swinging a large stick at the dog)
3) "I'm only playing " (ditto)
4) "Its because he's snarling and barking" (this is invariably offered as an explaination for why you are kicking or beating the dog as if it were itsfault.

I think I'll stick to running with my dog thanks - he's not vicious, miserable or grumpy in the slightest..... unlike some of you lot