Wow, that's pretty hard-hitting. Followers of my sadly long-lived comeback thread will know i'm no stranger to battling things that some musculoskeletal specialists had no solutions to, and winning to a certain degree. Things were going well, and had been for a while, until i damaged my hip joint doing lumbar spine rotations in may of last year. Having made progress and almost kicked the hip problem i screwed it up badly by running too much over xmas; my choice, my bad call, nobody to blame but myself. I sit here now in the teeth of a depressive attack that's been ongoing for nearly 4 weeks now, with my right leg partially numb from the swelling around my hip joint. I can't forgive myself for the decisions i've made, i don't know how long i'm going to be knackered for this time, i hate myself for being so reckless.

How you come out of this is going to be almost purely down to how you manage it mentally. As you can see from what i have posted, i am very bad at staying mentally stable and this is the reason i am suffering so badly. The uncomfortable truth is that a hip joint inflammation is small change compared to what has happened to you, but i know your pain and felt every scrap of it as i read your article.

A couple of things stood out a bit...

The tightness is at such a pitch that it feels like the left knee is inhabited by some malevolent creature and is separate from the rest of me. I talk to the creature in my knee.
This is exactly how i feel about the corrupted emotional centre in my mind that drives the self-hate and lack of self-worth that turbocharges my suffering. Literally to the word- malevolent, a separate creature. I've been led to believe through Psych-K sessions that it's a very bad idea to empower something bad in this way, if that belief statement takes root in your subconscious mind you're f**ked; i have to be clear about that, Morgan. Instead try to disempower it with an alternate statement such as, "i'm ok with this searing pain because it's part of my recovery". Repeat it to yourself as you do the exercises. The subconscious mind can attatch to untrue thoughts very easily, and breed countless grand theories that in some cases can completely destroy you mentally and leave you in tears.

Forgiveness is king in early stages, but it's something i struggle with so badly. Forgive the biker who knocked you over, forgive yourself for any action that you may have identified as being a contributing factor to this injury; and especially don't dwell on whether you may have had a better chance if you'd have just sat on your arse and waited for help instead of walking off the fell on a smashed knee. Take as long as you need to rid your mind of mental conflict, prepare mentally for the task going forward because nothing is set in stone...nothing! You shouldn't walk into this battle mentally wounded in any way, shape or form because all you're likely to do is argue with the reality of the situation. Arguing with reality is one of the most destructive crusades you can embark on, because you lose 100% of the time; reality is the only thing you can be certain of, you know something was meant to happen because it did- end of argument, forgive and move on.

Running isn’t my whole life
This is one of your best tools. My life is empty, i have very little in it apart from running, the loss of running from my life is similar to me as the death of a child might be to a parent. Again it's down to how i manage it mentally; i'm extremely susceptible to anxiety and panic relating to loss because of trauma in my childhood. Take full advantage of all the people you have in your life and lean on them whenever you need to because they'll likely let you. I know the value of good company and how therapeutic it can be; from time to time people drop in and out of my life when they are in a temporary void themselves, an interim between an old relationship and a new one for example. My world temporarily becomes glorious technicolour before slipping quietly back to black and white; if you have a technicolour life i urge you to use the people in it to the full- they are worth their weight in gold in situations like yours, trust me.

Gather your thoughts and tools for the task in hand. Don't aim to get back running, just aim to recover as far as you can in the time you have. Don't rush anything and pay no attention to recovery time estimates of any sort, you move at whatever speed the injury wants to go at- that is the only reality. Rushing will invite total disaster.