You are lashing out and hurting someone Mr B, that someone is you. Have you forgotten that fact?

You are the most important person in this scenario, you must start to treat yourself with love and care. Everything begins with loving and caring for yourself. Treating yourself with kindness. Please treat yourself to some help. You have made the biggest breakthrough by posting on here and telling complete strangers something really personal...that's so brave. You can do anything! You're amazing! Now tell me that doesn't sound better than all the negativity you brainwash yourself with?

Leah. (I am signing with my real name as I believe your candidness deserves are non-anonymous reply!)