Mr B, I am completely floored and humbled by your calm and rational dissection of the terrible mental curse you live with. Its moved me more than I care to admit. I have no idea what your relationship is like with your GP but if you printed what you have just written and placed it in front of them, it would be a very hard hearted medic who would not get you the most appropriate care.

I would not know how to cope with these things myself. You are very strong to have got this far.