Today's Joke

[Richard Shlong]

I'm liking this, rather than giving the whole joke - it becomes a group exercise.

Two parrots walk into a pub...

And what do they say? Ouch?

[noel]

And what do they say? Ouch?

Any better suggestions? This could be how Cannon and Ball started.

[Richard Shlong]

Any better suggestions? This could be how Cannon and Ball started.

The uptake is alternative responses is poor. Thus I will take a second guess at the next time.

....."And the bar man says..."

Assuming this is correct, he continues to say "If your guna bring a bird in here..."

or....

"You can bring birds in here man".

Oh god, I have no idea.

[noel]

The uptake is alternative responses is poor. Thus I will take a second guess at the next time.

....."And the bar man says..."

Assuming this is correct, he continues to say "If your guna bring a bird in here..."

or....

"You can bring birds in here man".

Oh god, I have no idea.

You're right - this is difficult. How about a pun around toucan or macaw?

This is probably how Cannon and Ball ended up.

[Witton Park]

And what do they say? Ouch?

The female parrots exclaim in unison "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the barman exclaims. "I've never heard such filth". After a few moments of deliberation, however, he offers a solution. "You know," he says, "I have two male parrots, very devout birds, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Come up stairs and I'll introduce you to Francis and Job. My parrots can teach you both to praise and worship and speak in a more appropriate manner."

"Thank you," one of the female parrots responds, "it's worth a try"

They go upstairs with he Barman and see the 2 male parrots holding rosary beads and praying. The female birds cry out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There is a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

[Richard Shlong]

Fabulous. If I ever see those male parrots, I'll give them a high wing (I'm assuming you can't high-five a parrot due to lack of arms and hands?)

[Swoop]

The barmaid says, "Two parrots? I'd rather have a cockatoo!"

[noel]

Witton and Swoop - genius

[Richard Head]

The last lines from The Only Way Is Downton that we saw at the Lowry last night - Having a vajazzle is like putting a crown on Piers Morgan's head, it might be bejewelled but it's still a twat

[William Clough]

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